You told me it was my responsibility to make myself happy, not yours.
I thought thats how it was for everyone.
I knew a person with any self-respect didnt air their dirty laundry in public.
Dương Hữu
I believed every challenge to that relationship made me stronger, but it only left me more broken.
I never asked him to stay because I thought he didnt mean it.
He had been hurt and he didnt have anyone else- so I tried to absorb all his pain.
Old stories told me this would make me wiser, but it only left me more damaged.
He never left me but sometimes I wish he had.
Imagine learning to love that way.
But I also know that he should have known better instead of breaking my heart over and over again.
It isnt easy because there is love.
I didnt love him for who he was, I loved him for what he was to me.
I continue to love him for the role I had created for him in my life.
I gave him the responsibility to make me happy and that is a lot to put on anyone.
I never looked for a solution because I never assessed my situation.
Years after I left, I blamed myself for not leaving sooner.
but at that time, I didnt know much better.
Then, I met you.
You told me it was my responsibility to make myself happy, not yours.
At first, I did not like that but slowly I learned.
Excuses can only take you so far.
You told me to take responsibility for my life.
You accepted accountability within yourself for what was happening around you.
You were never insecure and you always felt complete.
That made me angry and I always knew anger was my biggest weakness.
It took me years to realize I was working against myself every time I got angry.
Looking back- all the things I did and said when I was angry, were never smart.
I had this made-up perception that I could change a situation by being angry.
The only situation that anger changed in my life was I lost people who meant a lot to me.
I began to rise to more possibilities and started to feel more competent.
I am slowly learning to let go of trying to control everything, especially others.
I thought I wanted a love story with drama and thrills.
I felt I needed extravagance and over the top excitement- and a constant commotion.
Love is what a heart does best, without an agenda and without any manipulation.
Now more than ever, Im glad Ive got you.
Real love lets you just be, and guides you to find your own happiness.
Your love helped make me strong and made me feel complete on my own.
