But then also knowing how to Irish goodbye without their hand being the one youre holding.
Its the walk of shame that never looks at bad if youre a guy.
Its getting matched with someone we know not out of interest but we were curious if they swiped right.
Thought.is
Then if they do we unmatch them because we gain some weird satisfaction out of knowing they care.
Its the dating apps and getting unmatched simply for saying hello too quickly.
Its the games we swear we hate but everyone keeps playing.
Thought.is
Its the fuckboys who have girlfriends they dont tell you about until the next morning.
Its ghosting becoming so normal it doesnt even hurt anymore.
Its having a million ways to communicate but no one is saying anything.
We are conditioned to air dirty laundry on a newsfeed instead of in IRL doing something to fix it.
Its ending things when something goes wrong instead of working through it.
Even if it is a filtered version of the life we want people to think we are leading.
Its racking in likes because for some reason it makes us feel better.
No one wants to make that first move.
Its making sure we dont view their story on Instagram or snap chat first because well look desperate.
Its the phone calls that never get made because calling anyone is weird and everything is texting.
Its snap texting that doesnt equate to as much as a real text for reasons I dont understand.
Its opening a snap but not responding immediately.
Its like we want people to anxiously wait for moves we might not even make.
This is modern dating and this is the culture we all live in today.
But its not supposed to be this difficult.
Im sure part of me wishes I could be there too.
But Im supposed to not say that.
Im supposed to not show I care.
Feelings Im supposed to repress because thats what we are taught to do.
I dont just give up on people that easily.
And theres a 90% chance they wont say it back or itll freak them out and they run.
But Im going to tell people how I feel and no one can make me feel guilty for it.
Call me crazy for actually wanting a relationship at a time where that isnt a cool thing to do.
But to me, it just seems nice being happy with one person.
Being in a crowded bar knowing I came with the person Im going to leave seems ideal.
Waking up the next to someone I know with confidence Im going to see again is appealing to me.
And those words that people seem to dread like boyfriend and girlfriend its actually something I look forward to.
Maybe Im too blunt sometimes.
Maybe people classify me as too easy to read.
Maybe the people I pine after know they could have me if theyd like to.
But what I keep holding onto is the hope of meeting someone who sees the value in that.
Maybe someone will be as tired as I am of these dating games.
Maybe I text too much and call when I shouldnt but I dont think thats weird.
Like why couldnt you just pick up the phone and have a real conversation?
Because I dont think thats the case.
I truly believe everyone is lying to themselves.
