By
Updated 4 years ago,February 5, 2021
Healing is ugly.
Theres no other way to put it.
Healing means confronting a heartbreak, head on, and feeling the pain and the agony all over again.
Gabriela Pereira
It means reliving a heartbreak, essentially pouring vinegar in the wounds.
Even when you are grieving.
Even when you are an anxious wreck.
Healing results in long sleepless nights, bad dreams, and many, many tearful breakdowns in your car.
It means facing all of the numbness and all of the pain, all on your own.
And because of this, it makes sense that we are so afraid to heal.
We are afraid to heal because healing is a solo journey.
Healing is a quiet, undercover experience.
We are supposed to heal while we also continue to live.
It means making small talk with your coworkers without breaking down.
Without showing your emotions.
It means offering fake smiles and empty laughs.
It means not reaching out, even when every fiber of your being wants to send that text.
And healing means facing all of this pain without knowing when you will find relief.
And this is what makes healing so terrifying.
Try not to be so fearful of getting better.
It makes the loss real.
And I know youre not ready for it to be real.
You dont want to get over them.
I know how terrified you may feel.
You deserve to live a life without them, because in the end, they werent meant for you.
In the end, something was not right.
And you deserve for something (and everything) to be right.
You are destined for so much more than this heartbroken feeling.
You are destined for a life full of the right kind of love; the best kind of love.
So yo know that I understand why you are afraid.
Its okay to be afraid.
I know this heartbreak is quite possibly one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
But believe me when I say that one day you will get better.
The pit in your stomach will go away.
The emptiness will become full again.
The brokenness will mend in time.
And life will be even more beautiful than it was prior to this heartbreak.
A better kind of love.
And youll find a life that is better for you.
One day youll actually be stronger and fuller not in spite of, but because of this loss.
Take it easy, and mourn the loss, but also make space in your life for goodness.
Make space in your life for things to get better.
Make space in your life for you to grow in new directions.
I know that healing feels rocky and ugly right now, but healing is a beautiful thing.
Healing means filling in the broken spaces with gold.
Healing means finding happiness in a place that used to only feel empty.
Healing is remarkably beautiful.
So hey, dont be so afraid to heal.
Feel the feelings, face the heartbreak, and know that you are stronger than you think you are.
And when you are healing, know that its okay to miss them.
Its okay to admit you wish they were here with you.
And its more than okay to be sad.
Its more than okay to cry big ugly tears.
You lost someone you thought you would never lose.
You lost someone who you expected to be a part of your forever story.
And a loss that great deserves tears.
But it doesnt deserve you grieving forever.
It doesnt deserve tears everyday for the rest of your life.
You deserve to heal.
You deserve to get better.
You deserve to feel strong and brave and courageous.
You deserve to fall back in love with who you are.
I know that some days you wont feel so brave or so ready to heal.
You wont feel prepared to face the pain.
On these days, know that its okay to take it slow.
Its okay to take your time.
Its okay to heal softly and slowly.
Spill your heart out in your journal.
Eat caramel filled chocolates or drink hot chocolate.
Just dont be so hard on yourself.
Dont make a run at heal on any given timeline.
And dont beat yourself up if you still feel heartbroken weeks or months in.
You are not any weaker for taking time to heal.
And know that theres not a fixed point at which you get better.
There may not be a morning where you wake up and when you are completely okay again.
Theres not a moment when you feel like you are done healing, and when you are finally fixed.
Healing happens in a long series of moments.
Little victories, little baby steps along the way.
A series of little wins in which you see a glimmer of lightness in the dark.
A series of moments in which you forget completely about your broken heart and just feel alive and present.
Healing will happen in all of these very little, but meaningful, moments.
And occasionally, you will take one step backwards.
Because I know you will then take two steps forward.
Youll be able to think about the person you lost, without crying.
And youll finally have hope that things are getting better.
And somewhere along the way, youll begin to find peace with missing them.
And then one day youll find that youve been smiling more than youve been crying.
Youll realize that you havent thought about them all day.
Youll catch yourself laughing and realize how long it has been since youve heard that sweet sound.
