This is the real reason why I walked away from you: I got scared.
I stared at my window as I watched the sun slowly rise above the earth.
I tried to remember where I was exactly one year ago.
Alex Bertha
I tried to remember what was running through my head at that time.
Then, the thought of you crossed my mind.
But the memory of you was stronger than my self-control.
I know I left without giving an explanation.
Not even a slight clue about why I disappeared.
I left with no warning.
Alex Bertha
I stood in front of you one day and said only two words:Im done.
But this is the real reason why I walked away from you: I got scared.
I got scared that maybe I was in the wrong place.
I got scared that Id feel stuck with you.
I got scared that Id be missing out so many incredible things in life if I stayed with you.
I felt unhappy at one point and thought it would be better if I ran away.
I thought I would lessen the damage if I escaped silently.
I knew eventually you would understand why I pulled myself away from you.
But I bet I only made things worse with me leaving that way.
I bet it made you think of me as a terrible human being.
I know you deserve an apology so this is me saying Im sorry.
Im sorry I didnt try harder.
Im sorry I was selfish and didnt consider the effect of my decision on you.
Im sorry I broke my promise of loyalty.
Im sorry I destroyed your trust in me.
And I am so sorry that I got scared.
I was very young when I met you.
There were so many things in life that I either didnt understand or didnt want to understand.
I was a little bit confused.
I had insecurities I was suppressing inside of me.
I had doubts about where I was.
I got way too excited about the promise of a fresh start.
There is no doubt in my mind that I disappointed you.
And in case youre wondering if I regret walking away from you, the answer is yes.
Its hard for me to admit it, but I believe you deserve to know the truth.
This time, Im giving you a detailed explanation of why I left.
I wish I gave myself more time in making decisions.
I wish I appreciated the way you did everything you could to make me stay.
I wish I realized how important I was to you.
I regret not fighting my demons.
I regret not trying to be mature.
I regret not giving you more chances that you deserve.
I regret giving up so easily.
And, yes, I do regret leaving you.
Its just so complicated for us to put everything back together right now.
And I hope that we can pick up where we left off.
