A race where no one is running against me, but Im running against a socially-imposed, invisible calendar.
But the thing is, Ive done so many things already that this shouldnt even still be an issue.
A race where no one is running against me, but Im running against a socially-imposed, invisible calendar.
Alan Rojo Pinedo
Yes, the dreaded marriage question.
That I get asked twice a week.
For the past three and half years.
When do you think youll get married?
When do you think hell propose?
Have you discussed what your plan is yet?
It has to be coming soon, right?
When do you think?
And in the beginning of our relationship, it was fun.
It was cute for people to ask me about our uncertain future the first six months of our relationship.
It was cute to be having the same marriage conversation that other girls were having with their actual fiances.
But now its not cute.
Now its making me crazy.
Now its making me panicked.
Now its making me unravel.
Because now its becoming intrusive.
I should start taking bets on the over-under for a five minute conversation.
Why hasnt he asked me?
Is he even talking about asking me?
How much more time does he need before he decides to ask?
Whats wrong with us that he isnt mentioning it to me?
Does he even want to marry me?
Which is all insane.
The thing thats been bothering me most recently is that no one asks him this question.
He doesnt havethe lineready: Yeah, weve been having a lot of fun lately.
Who knows when well decide, were taking it at our own pace for now.
So why am I the only one bombarded with these questions?
Why am I the only one that hears them on a loop?
Ive gone from elated and emotional when others get engaged to jealous.
Jealous of their love?
Jealous of their relationship?
And jealousy isnt my thing.
Jealousy isnt something I do.
So jealousy is becoming a problem for me.
Maybe IM not ready to get engaged.
Maybe IM not ready to settle down just yet.
Like, get it together, Erin, you werent even thinking about that toy 10 minutes ago.
Im over feeling like Im losing a race against no one, or everyone, or even myself.
Because time is an illusion anyway, so maybe my timeline is actually right on schedule.
