But still, every now and then, she comes to mind.
In the dream, she walked by me at Barnes & Noble.
I did a double-take but didnt think there was a chance it was her.
Nick Mark Mayer
Hey, bud, the woman said.
We made small talk.
I dont remember what we chatted about.
But after we said our goodbyes and she walked away, I yelled at her.
You really fucking hurt me, dude, I screamed.
Then I woke up.
I couldnt fall back asleep for some time as I thought about what happened.
I never got a full answer as to what happened.
She sent a few texts apologizing for the distance but never made the effort the exit the gap.
But that doesnt mean it didnt hurt.
Sometimes, it still does.
After all, I was still choosing her until I realized she no longer was choosing me back.
And when that happens, it’s crucial that you choose yourself, even if it breaks your heart.
Friendship breakups, in my opinion, are some of the most stubborn kinds of heartache.
Because we know that romantic love can be more volatile.
Heartbreak is the risk you know you take with getting involved with someone romantically.
With friendship, though, theres an unspoken understanding that youre in this for the long run.
Youve got each others backs when the significant other leaves.
When the job doesnt pan out.
Your best friend is just someone you always assume will be there.
Until one day, theyre not.
Sometimes, you know why but when things end without a clear answer, you have two choices.
With space, we can look at the full picture more objectively.
What it comes down to is that she isnt here.
That is her decision.
I wish her nothing but the best.
I have nothing but love left for her.
She taught me so much.
She helped me through so much.
She was my person until one day she wasnt but that doesnt mean she didnt matter.
Maybe it means she mattered more.
How wonderful we can impact one another that way.
