Many enter the helping professions due to their empathy for others and a genuine desire to improve their lives.
We grant therapists access to ourdeepest traumas, fears, and emotions.
If you are looking for a therapist, its important to vet your therapist thoroughly.
Cottonbro Studio
Dont just double-check or only review their credentials evaluate their character and knowledge too.
Instead, interview them as if you were interviewing a business client.
At the end of the day, therapy is also a business.
You are paying someone to help you, not re-traumatize you.
As past division president of the American Counseling Association and counselorDr.
Kimberly Keywrites, A good therapist or counselor helps you find your strengths.
They feed your resilience and they focus on your core strengths which will help you overcome difficulties.
If something feels awry with your therapist or counselor, leave.
Dont let them bully or manipulate you.
Therapists and counselors are human beings.
Just like every profession, there are good ones, mediocre ones and horrible ones.
Stay away from the horrible ones.
I went to my narcissistic therapist twice and she shamed and yelled at me for crying.
She was just like my narcissistic mother.
And I came to her when I was in the midst of a nervous breakdown.
emotionally abused them) in a past life.
Wendy
I had a horrid counselor that sided with my oh so perfect perpetrator.
When I was in tears about my cats unexpected death, she said Geez!
Kymberlie
I had an emergency counseling session with a lovely lady and she had scheduled a follow-up.
I mentioned my discomfort and confusion and she ignored me, continuing to ask the same questions.
All is well now but I learned to really use some discernment when finding mental health help.
Kate
They break boundaries and infiltrate your life in violating ways.
A good therapist knows how to enforce healthy personal and professional boundaries.
It completely destroyed my life and I still work extremely hard daily to rebuild my life all over again.
Unethical therapists cross the boundaries of their clients.
In the worst-case scenarios, they may even sexually abuse them.
This allows therapy to be contained.
He goes on to say, A therapist must also maintain his or her boundaries at all times.
When a therapist fails to act in the above manner, it is a considered a breach of boundaries.
When she found out he and I had already seen each other, she went crazy.
Thats not how its done!
You ruined it now!
This was our wedding and what we wanted.
Fast forward to the reception, at a restaurant.
We didnt have a DJ.
The fact that this song came on was totally random.
It was a really tender moment.
Breathe, breathe, its okay, I am here now.
I am here, she said.
I just pulled away from her and kept saying I was fine.
I didnt want to scream at my own reception and cause a scene.
Before the ceremony started, my brother was waiting outside the room for everyone to leave.
Our dad died, and he wanted a moment alone with me before the ceremony.
I heard from several people that night that she went around and told them, Look around.
See this whole wedding?
This is only happening because of me.
I am the reason she was able to get even get married.
If it werent for me, she wouldnt have any of this.
I got married last year.
I have not spoken to my former therapist since and I have not been back to see her.
I had two narcissistic therapists.
They live in the same city and state where I lived with my now ex-fiance abuser.
They were aware of his physical abuse, psychological abuse, cheating, and neglect of his child.
She is a marriage and family therapist, a friend of his and should have her license revoked.
I had also only met this therapist twice, and both therapists believed his manipulation and lies.
There are so many screwed up people working in psychology.
Victim shamers who glorify abusers.
Abbey
I saw my narcissistic therapist for 2 years.
My childrens dad had a court order at the time.
As soon as the court order was dropped, he stopped therapy sessions.
I never went back, I was so hurt and betrayed.
This guy was a new therapist and totally untrained in spotting narcissistic or emotional abuse.
He suggested EMDR for me rather than identifying the narcissists symptoms.
I had one, yes.
She turned on me and wrote a letter for the court for my ex to gain custody.
She lied in the letter.
Luckily, the court didnt accept it as evidence because she didnt come in person to be cross-examined.
I reported her to the state licensing board.
They screwed up trying to protect their active duty serviceman.
My terrible position was made worse, by this one officer especially.
This was all from the narcissistic abuse cycle.
The captain came in over an hour after being called to base.
I checked out of the conversation.
This case risked my job, my home, and my life.
I was already extremely depressed and to go in and have everything thrown back in my face was excruciating.
And we all know he did it to appear as the white horse.
Kate
My narcissistic foster mom is a hypnotherapist.
I became part of her family when I was 5.
She counsels people in her bed and breakfast style home.
Now I am 34 and learning about myself all over again after I went no contact at age 32.
Ive healed and grown a lot but still a long way to go.
I have a lovely therapist now who only talks to me.
My mother was also assigned a counselor.
I was very well trained to be polite and agreeable in those days.
Looking back, I think I was just fascinating to those two counselors.
They pulled out all the stops the Keirsey sorter, hypnosis, etc.
They began asking me more pointed questions about my mother and our relationship.
Her relationship with her dad (my grandad who is a saint).
I finally started opening up, giving details, talking about my mom (warts and all).
Then I get to my next visit with my mom and she is furious.
Why would you tell anyone that he abused me?
He has never abused anyone!
You are a liar.
I think you made up the story about your dad (stepdad) and on and on.
I eventually asked her to take me back to the foster home.
As it turns out her counselor was my counselors husband!
I never said my grandad was abusive they did.
He IS a great man.
And that was only because he was stupid enough to get caught stalking me.
My relationship with my mom deteriorated even further, leading her to sabotage me in court.
And then, because the impropriety became a known thing, the state decided to release me from counseling.
I just needed it from an ethical counselor.
This was all over twenty years ago.
So yes, I survived.
I even learned how to thrive.
But those two counselors have left me very skeptical of the mental health profession.
Narcissists are very much like cult leaders, and narcissistic therapists are no different.
One of my brothers was married to a narcissistic therapist.
He and I were very close and then she sent me a nasty letter full of projections.
Ultimately she was threatened by how close we were.
She alienated him from anyone who made her feel threatened.
She lied and twisted things, playing the victim, making everyone responsible for keeping her happy.
Shes very beautiful and charming but devoid of empathy and extremely underhanded and manipulative.
I hear they are divorced now and he refers to her as vindictive.
I hear she has a blog about therapy the right way, which is typical.
She only knows one way to be and to do and it is always the right way.
The rest of us mere mortals cant seem to get it right without following her lead.
Kat
They are cruel, callous, contemptuous, bullying you and others.
You wouldnt imagine that a therapist could ever be cruel to their clients.
They have an obligation to nurture and protect, after all.
I worked with a therapist for 12 months who displayed all the hallmarks of a narcissistic personality.
Her dysregulation culminated in her swearing at me when I asked her about her qualifications.
Her response to me was, Now youre just being a b*tch.
Soon after, she ordered me to leave halfway through a 50-minute session.
She also lied about me through omission as well as explicitly.
I have worked with five therapists, and none of their clinical notes agree with her assessment of me.
Be selective and be cautious.
Rest assured, there are good therapists out there who are well-versed in manipulation tactics and theeffects of trauma.
You just have to find an empathic, ethical one who meets your needs.
