The truth is she didnt just lose you she lost herself trying to keep you.
Shes still hurt even though shes putting on a brave face.
Shes still mourning the loss of something she thought was different than it turned out to be.
God & Man
Someone she thought was different.
Shes wont tell you shes hurt.
She wont tell you the moment the opinion she had of you changed.
God & Man
But she looked at you someone so familiar as suddenly a stranger.
And words strung together that broke her, she knew wasnt love but the opposite.
And she replayed it in her mind holding back tears.
She knew this pain that was just now coming to the surface would consume.
The truth was exactly what she wanted to avoid.
She wont tell you how shes not sleeping at night but that shes tired during the day.
She wont tell you how shes not even hungry and doesnt know why.
Or when shell stop waking up with this pain that is the only reminder shes alive.
Because shes going through the motions lifeless.
Shes trying to keep it together.
Shes trying to be nice.
And maybe you talked and maybe she answered but what isnt being said is this truth.
You dont say those things because there is nothing anyone can say to follow that or fix it.
This pain is irreversible.
This person she used to look at with eyes of perfection she now realizes is tainted.
Someone she cant trust.
Someone she should question.
Because when given the chance to hold her heart in your hands you dropped it.
And she was left to clean up the mess.
She doesnt want to blame you.
She doesnt want to be angry.
And shes not angry or spiteful in the least.
Like there was a sign she misread or something shes making up.
And its you she owes an apology to.
She wont tell you how much you hurt her because she feels guilty about it.
Shes trying to be brave.
Shes trying to be strong.
But more than anything shes just trying to heal.
