Sometimes were the problem, were the toxic ones.
Theres a truth no one really wants to admit.
First, its OK.
Brandon Woelfel
Pretty much everyone goes through a period of being alittle toxic and this isnt a final destination.
First, lets look at some signs youre toxic:
1.
You arent happy for other people ever.
If you struggle to feel happy for other people, it indicates you arent fulfilled in your own life.
When these negative feelings come up, its a good opportunity to look within yourself.
Well, maybe youre afraid it will never happen for you, that you are destined to be alone.
OK, now go a little deeper.
Why do you feel this way?
Well… maybe you dont feel worthy of love because nothing has worked out in the past.
Now keep going, really challenge the belief.
Can you know for certain that you will end up alone?
No, we cant know that.
So why feed into those negative/fearful thoughts?
How is that serving you?
You may also not be happy for other people when they get something you already have.
Keep going… why does that bother you?
Well… it seems unfair.
Then ask yourself: does it serve you to think that life is unfair?
Does that take you anywhere good?
And the clear answer is no.
Dont just let the negativity consume you.
take a stab at notice when your mind is going down that path and re-direct it.
They didnt take anything away from you.
You have a problem with everyone.
If you have a problem with everyone…. then maybe youre the problem.
First, like attracts like.
Emotionally healthy people attract other emotionally healthy people.
Ifyoure toxic, then you probably will attract toxic people.
We all find comfort in the familiar even if its bad for us.
You may also seek out certain kinds of people because they validate the way you already feel about yourself.
You cant accept responsibility.
Now Im not saying there are never external forces… but it cant ever be only external forces.
It cant be that you are not responsible for anything that happens in your life.
It cant be that youre never to blame.
Emotionally healthy people can take responsibility for their lives.
Toxic people dont and instead play the victim.
And let me tell you, no one likes a victim.
You think you know best.
Are you overly harsh and critical?
Maybe even a little controlling?
This behavior can come about when you feel out of control or frustrated in your own life.
As the saying goes… hurt people hurt people.
Are you a nice person?
Or are you mean, nasty, quick-tempered, bitter, jealous, and spiteful?
Do you easily lash out at everyone around you?
Are you rude and snappy with people most of the time?
Are you constantly judging and rolling your eyes?
These behaviors come from a place of feeling hurt internally.
So take a closer look at that- where is this really coming from?
Make an effort to be nicer to people in your life, from loved ones to cab drivers.
Youre an emotional vampire.
Emotional vampires tend to drain the emotional energy out of everyone they interact with.
They basically treat other people like emotional dumping grounds.
They have an excessive need for validation and rely on others to make them feel good about themselves.
And a lot of the time they lack the self-awareness to realize its the result of their behavior.
You also need to address your lack of self-esteem because that is usually the source of it all.
You think youre toxic.
Deep down… you usually already know the truth.
If you suspect youre toxic, then its very possible you are.
Either way, something is going on thats hindering you from being your best self.
Take responsibility for what you could control.
Just this alone will alleviate some of your toxicity!
you’re free to control the meaning you ascribe to events.
you could control how you interact with yourself and with others.
So take ownership of those things.
Also, try and practice gratitude.
Start small and venture to just acknowledge one thing youre grateful for each day.
Its even better if you write it down and also if you come up with something new every day.
