By
Updated 8 years ago,July 7, 2017
This is a story about a spider.
Im more of a yell-dramatically-and-hide-in-a-corner-while-begging-my-brother-to-kill-it-with-a-shoe kind of girl.
Bugs and I dont particularly get along, especially those of the spider variety.
God and Man
But this one is different.
He lives in the side mirror of my car.
One morning I found an intricate web peeking out from the inner rim of my mirror.
God and Man
And so it goes.
Every morning, I find a freshly spun web hanging from the sides of my mirror.
And every time I pulled into the parking lot of my office, its gone.
It amazes me, the determination of that spider.
Every single day his web is knocked down.
And every single night he rebuilds it.
What kind of tenacity must that take?
What kind of grit and fortitude?
I find myself cheering him on and rooting for his success.
Day after day he is still there- clinging to his tattered web as my car rattles down the highway.
Is his tenacity really just blind stubbornness at this point?
Why is he refusing to leave?
I want this spider to succeed.
I want him to make it.
But he is never going to if he doesnt get the hell off my car.
Still, I know the feeling.
Insisting on jamming a square peg into a round hole?
Committed to a cause thats no longer a good fit?
Society is constantly telling us to work harder and faster.
Were taught to never give up, to persevere at all costs.
We glorify the grind, brag about our perfectionism, wear our discipline like a badge of honor.
And yes, there are lessons in pain.
Wisdom can be gained from learning not to run.
But thats not always the case.
Theres another option, another path that we can take.
We can choose to give up, to surrender, to say uncle.
We can choose to no longer be miserable.
What if it really was that easy?
What if we didnt have to grin and bear it any longer?
What if all we needed to do was surrender our death grip and get the fuck off the mirror?
Its hard, I know.
Weve been conditioned to push, to endure, to fight.
But enduring misery isnt always a sign of strength, its often a sign of fear.
It can be terrifying to make the leap, to walk into the unknown and start all over again.
But the fact of the matter is, if he doesnt leave, that spider is going to die.
It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow, but he is going to die.
The stress will get to him if nothing else does.
The winds will blow him away.
I for one dont want to be like that spider.
I dont want to mask my fear behind a veil of determination and choose productivity for productivitys sake.
Im done with forcing things that no longer fit.
Im choosing to surrender, to chart a new course.
I want to make a new home in the soil.
I want to be brave enough to spin a new web.
I want to live.
Really and truly live.
