This goes for every aspect of your life but is especially true of relationships.
It hurts, theres no way around it.
How can you move on?
Toa Heftiba
Its true that time heals, but its not a passive process, its an active one.
How do you actively go about healing?
Here are 6 steps to helpthe moving-on process.
How to Move On When You Still Love Your Ex
You must cut off all contact.
Do this for at least a month.
Its very important that you dont spend that month obsessing over him.
Spend it focusing on yourself and actively trying to move on and find happiness on your own.
Spend time with friends and family, take a mini-vacation, get yourself to the gym.
Dive into self-help, take a class.
Dont stalk him on social media or venture to find ways to run into him.
No contact meansno contact, online or off.
Ignore any future attempts of his to contact you, as any contact will just hinder the moving-on process.
Dont attempt to be friends or anything like that, at least not now.
That can only happen once youre completely over him.
Contact with him when your heart is still breaking is just setting yourself up to set yourself back.
Maybe hell be back in your life someday, maybe not.
Dont focus on that now.
This isnt about the actual person or relationship, its about what we hoped for.
A breakup is like a death because its the death of this potential.
But chances are things werent perfect.
If they had been, you wouldnt have broken up.
There were problems and they couldnt be resolved, and you gotta remember that.
Dont think If only things had been different, if only he could have been more like this.
There is no if only, there is only what is.
Look at what actually happened, not how things could have been different.
It wasnt and never could have been everything you hoped for.
Feel your feelings
Feelings dont go away just because they go unacknowledged.
Deal with your anger, your grief, your sadness.
Write out all the things left unsaid, all the feelings unexpressed.
Give yourself a limit on the grieving, though.
Life needs to go on.
Give yourself maybe a week or two, then pick yourself up and move along.
4. have a go at forgive.
Maybe he didnt apologize, it doesnt matter.
Its not about him, its about you.
Holding onto anger just poisons you.
Forgiving him doesnt mean approving of anything he did or believing hes a good person.
venture to remember that most people dont do things with purely evil intentions.
See things from his perspective if it’s possible for you to and maybe even practice some empathy.
Most importantly, know that his behavior has nothing to do with you or your worthiness.
How he treated you is a reflection of his own character, not your worthiness.
You dont need to tell him you forgive him (remember the no contact rule!)
this can and should be a purely internal thing.
you’re gonna wanna turn your focus inward, to caring for your own well-being.
Dont worry about whats going on with him, its not your concern.
What can I learn from this?
If life is about anything, its about learning.
Love is never wasted.
Forgive yourself for any mistakes you may have made.
Its human to make mistakes.
Nobody is perfect and its not possible to go back and do it all again.
The only thing you’re free to do is learn and move on.
What makes you think you dont deserve the things you want?
Rebuild the most important relationship of allthe one you have with yourself.
You know you werent right for each otherthe fact that you broke up is the ultimate sign of that.
These 6 steps really boil down to one thingtaking care of yourself.
Recognize that your own value is independent of anyones opinion of you.
Know that youdeserve to be happy.
When you really get this, deep down, love will come.
In summary…
Six ways to move on when you still love your ex:
