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Updated 10 months ago,July 15, 2024
They always say date your best friend.
You already know you are compatible as friends.
A relationship will just make all of those best friend feelings explode into romantic goodness right?
Budgeron Bach
Well, the answer is sometimes.
I was disillusioned by the idea that dating my best friend would work.
The problem is at first, this love sometimes feels the same.
Take time to actually understand your feelings towards one another and openly communicate your thoughts and intentions.
If you realize you arent into them or they arent into you, TALK about it.
Moving from best friends to more-than-friends can be a big step, verify you treat it as such.
While this is a valid concern, it is also an excuse.
If you both really want to be together it is worth the risk.
Its only if you dont truly anticipate a future does this excuse start to dampen the mood.
Short answer: dont compare.
Letting your mind worry about the past will only sabotage your happiness in the present.
However, this is easier said than done.
Knowing who they have been with, especially if it is mutual friends, can be messy.
So proceed with caution.
The important thing is to focus on what makes YOU happy and what makes YOU comfortable.
If you dont start to warm up to each other as more-than-friends, that is OKAY.
It is important to stay realistic and recognize if you simply just mesh better as friends.
The thrill of courting each other will fade
Oh, that sweet honeymoon phase.
You kiss for the first time and BAM that sexual tension is finally broken.
In the moment it feels like that high could last forever.
The brutal truth is that it doesnt.
Its exciting to start something new, especially with someone you already know so well.
In this honeymoon phase it feels like you are getting to know them all over again.
As a whole, enjoy this new part of your relationship, but dont set it as your expectation.
Take any friends with benefits-esque movie, someone catches feelings, someone gets hurt, ect.
Therefore, it is easy to rush defining what you are so no one gets hurt.
Instead, dont be afraid to press the breaks every now and then.
Go on dates or do cute things for each other.
Its not a race to get in bed with each other and instead focus on how you feel emotionally.
If that person wants to be with you, they will make the effort.
If you want to be with them, you will make the effort.
It is as simple as that.
It is especially important when you try dating your best friend.
Be honest with yourself and recognize if they seem checked out or uninterested.
Much of intimacy is learning from each other and communicating what you like and what you dont like.
Be patient with this process and dont expect fireworks to just happen in one night.
BUT, it is also important to not just hear what you want to hear.
They say that they like you, but…
Listen to what they say after the but!
Dont put each other on a pedestal
Its your best friend, right?
You have been there for each other so many times.
Its easy to believe that in a relationship they will be the best boyfriend/girlfriend you have EVER had.
So if expectation doesnt match reality it ends up feeling like a huge disappointment.
Learn about them as you go, instead of imagining them as perfect from the start.
If they arent treating you right, it doesnt matter that they are your best friend.
Being your best friend doesnt excuse them from being an asshole.
Love yourself and know yourself enough to confidently demand respect at all times.
You are best friends and hurting them will only really end up hurting you too.
Communicate if things arent working, dont merely toss them aside and ignore them.
Treat each other how you would want to be treated and dont play games with each other.
Some of the best relationships can be the product of dating and falling in love with your best friend.
However, falling for your best friend is way more complicated than it seems.
