You meet someone, something clicks, and suddenly a force takes you over.
After this encounter you cantfor the life of youget this guy out of your head.
You have a go at think about other things, but nothing works.
You think about the things you wish you had said.
You check your phone constantly to see if he called ortexted.
The high continues as you venture into a relationship and becomes even more intense.
You never quite know where you stand with him and you keepoverthinking it.
This emotional rollercoaster is as exhausting as it is thrilling.
The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving.
You may check his Facebook profile, but only for a few minutes.
Things feel calm, theres no drama, no heart palpitations….and it feels really nice.
Which relationship do you think has a stronger chance of survival?
Instinctively, you would say the second one.
In real life, you would fall for the first.
Thats because the first scenario illustrates everything weve ever been told about love.
There are huge obstacles to overcome, but its okay because love conquers all!
These decisions arent conscious, they happen very deep beneath the surface in areas we cant access.
When we meet someone, we immediately assess everything about them (again, this happens unconsciously).
(A great book to learn more on this concept is Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix.
I would even call it a must-read.)
You may also unconsciously seek out partners who have some quality that is under-developed in you.
These example might not describe your situation, but they illustrate a deeper point.
Unhealthy relationships almost always begin with the pull.
Moving away from the psychological factors at work here, infatuation in general can be a dangerous thing.
It causes you to put him on a pedestal and overlook his flaws.
You rely on his approval so desperately that you also become a bitneedy.
If you’ve got the option to internalize this, it will change the way you date forever.
The best way to have a healthy relationship is to go slow.
Its difficult to remain objective in relationships, especially for women since we are naturally more emotional.
Just because people feel strongly for each other doesnt always mean they can be together.
It is imperative to have a foundation of compatibility, shared goals and interests, and common values.
Some things simply cant be negotiated.
Before you emotionally invest, it is very wise to determine if you are fundamentally compatible.
And the best way to do this is go slow.
When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with them.
You talk for hours and hours on the phone, text all day, and you cant get enough.
Youll instead rely on some cliche like love conquers all to justify staying with him.
Either way you have to date smart.
This will come more naturally with meh than it will with the object of your infatuation.
Also give a shot to keep your phone conversations somewhat short, maybe an hour and a half max.
you’re able to avoid falling into this trap bydoing regular reality checks.
ensure you see him and the situation clearly.
The best way to do this is to confirm it’s possible for you to recognize his flaws.
The way you know youre infatuated is if you see no flaws.
In every one of these situations, the couple believed that things would magically just work out.
