you gotta be okay with being alone.
You have to accept that you are enough.
I understand you want someone in your life.
Jordan Bauer
I understand you dont want to feel alone.
But you should be happy when youre by yourself.
By
Updated 4 years ago,March 7, 2021
Relationships are high-stakes these days.
Jordan Bauer
Its probably even less if you factor in the marriages that are failing or very unhappy.
Why are relationships so hard?
And why do we enter them if theyre so doomed?
Relationships might have such trouble because people tend to learn by trial and error.
But there has to be more to it than that.
Certainly, many happy relationships ones that should have worked failed.
Maybe the people in them just couldnt get it together.
Most people would say that the timing was off.
Oh, timing… you impossible little bastard.
But wanting a relationship isnt the same as being ready for one.
Sometimes we arent emotionally ready to date.
Dating after heartbreak, for example, is always difficult.
People believe a relationship should work if both people are in a healthy emotional place in their lives.
And this does make it more doable.
But being emotionally ready for a relationship isnt necessarily the same as being mentally ready for it.
One of the main reasons people break up is theyre not mentally prepared.
You could say theyre not mature enough.
Or, whats worse, they dont know what it means to compromise?
Yes, you better get intimate with yourself.
Keep in mind that requires you to spend a lot of time with yourself and no one else.
It requires alone time.
And the longer youre single, the better the partner youll be in the future.
it’s crucial that you get to know yourself.
We spend so much time putting on facades for others.
We pretend to be people were not.
And when we try too hard to fit in, we lose ourselves often without realizing it.
We all change with time, but we dont always grow with time.
Youll come to realize whats most important to you.
Youll also learn whats trivial and disposable in your life.
Dont expect this to be easy.
I know it may sound easy, but its more difficult than youd think.
you should probably be okay with being alone.
You have to accept that you are enough.
I understand you want someone in your life.
I understand you dont want to feel alone.
I dont either, and neither does anyone walking this planet.
But you should be happy when youre by yourself.
Your happiness, focus and hunger for life cant depend on somebody else.
But you cant allow someones absence to define your life.
You cant look at a life with someone else as better than your life now.
Because if that life is better, then the one youre living now must be worse.
It isnt a bad life.
Its simply different, and you should probably learn to be okay with something different.
Too many people use relationships like Band-Aids, but the blood always seeps through.
Were all a bit bruised, a bit scarred and jaded.
Some days are certainly going to be darker.
But at the end of the day, your happiness is truly a choice.
And a relationship isnt going to fix you.
You choose how you perceive the world.
If you realize this and continue to see the world the way you do now, thats on you.
But if you force yourself to change, you’re free to.
(Keep in mind I said force!)
If you change your reality, youll be happy with your life.
Youll be happy with yourself and how you’re able to control your life.
And youll have something that too many of us lose hope.
Getting into a relationship before youre emotionally and mentally prepared reduces the chances it will work out.
How can someone else love you when the you isnt your true self?
How can you be fully loved when you dont know what love is?
