Statistical probability and whatnot.
But thats NOT who most women are.
Most women said yes to a mans voluntarily offered marriage proposal.
Pexels
This isnt arranged marriage in medieval times.
Most people know what theyre signing up for, and then they sign up voluntarily.
1 reason forand predictor ofdivorce.
The math is the math, and math is truth.Math doesnt have an agenda.
Husbands vs. What I struggle with most is when people frame the husband-wife relationship as adversarial.
What about that arrangement sounds appealing, or as if theres a chance for any sort of happy ending?
Pexels
Also, maybe dont venture to control others.
Thats one effective way to avoid being a thundering asshole.
One novel idea is to actually LOVE the human being you are vowing to marry for life.
…
Love is generous.
Love is not about winning.
Love is not about power and control.
Love is not about whos right and whos wrong.
Someone hurts because of it.
And its in THIS MOMENT that marriages die along with countless relationships that never reach marriage status.
This painful, damage-causing behavior isnt happening because men are systematically plotting to upset their partners.
Its happening because many men dont realize that these things hurt their wives.
These men dont realize it in most instances because that same situation DOES NOT hurt them.
Its hard to understand how something we KNOW doesnt hurt could hurt someone else.
Which is why I like the second-degree burn analogy.
If someone places their finger on our arm, it doesnt typically hurt us.
That shit will feel like a horror show and well want to stab them.
Point being: One event can occur and be experienced in radically different ways by two different people.
Its not gender-specific, nor is it universal.
The Change We Need is for Men to See the Hurt
I dont think men are bad.
I dont think men are intentionally hurting their wives or girlfriends.
Their wives say, Oh my God, that hurts me when you do that.
Could you like stop?
And then the confused and startled husbands reply, All I did was touch your arm!
Why dont you make a bigger deal out of it?
It seems like youre always finding something else to complain about.
And then she says, When you touch my arm it hurts me.
And then we husbands say: God, thats stupid.
It doesnt hurt when people touch your arm.
Youre being crazy and overly emotional.
She explains exactly whats hurting, and he tells her shes wrong and making it up in her head.
He ALSO feels as if his reality and intentions are being unfairly and inaccurately misrepresented.
Like clockwork, the relationship breakdown is inevitable unless theres some kind of magical empathy breakthrough.
Usually, theres not, which is why MOST relationships fail.
Most dating couples never make it to marriage at all.
The ones who do, divorce half the time.
And many of the couples that dont divorce are hopelessly miserable and wish they werent together.
So guys, this isnt about feminism or trying to emasculate men.
We can do that by NOT getting married.
But, when you finally do see it, you realize quickly enough that it was never very complicated.
