Its about who you choose.
There are a lot ofred flagsto be mindful of, but there is one that trumps all the rest.
Listicle articles can get tedious, and who remembers everything they just read?
Анна Хазова
Ive dated this kind of guy and the ramifications to your sense of self and self-esteem can be devastating.
So what is the one quality to watch out for?
Its that nothing is ever his fault.
Whenever theres a problem, its your fault.
If youre hurt because of something, its your fault because youre too sensitive.
If he does something wrong, its your fault because you made him upset.
I thought I was the problem and it was a horrible, crippling feeling.
And there were times when I genuinely questioned my own sanity.
Yes, thats an exact quote.
I was shocked and devastated and he just couldnt understand.
Im not saying this to be mean, he gently explained.
Do you honestly think youre the kind of girl whos cut out to be a wife and mom?
And then rather than being upset with him, I questioned myself.Wow, I really am so horribly damaged.
I am fatally flawed.
No one will ever want me.
Its a good thing I have him!
And this is why we stay.
This is what keeps us in it even though we know better.
You question everything about yourself.
It never starts out this way though.
But then you become the problem.
Now suddenly hes unhappy and he blames you for everything thats wrong.
No matter what, nothing is ever his fault.
There are no apologies.
There is no empathy.
There is no seeing things from your perspective.
If you have a problem, itsyourproblem.
Its always you, never him.
Getting beyond yourself and having a refined sense of empathy can be challenging.
So can taking responsibility when youre in the wrong.
The deeper you get into these relationships, the harder it will be.
Dont turn a blind eye.
Dont convince yourself that something is better than nothing.
Dont delude yourself into believing youll never find better.
