By
Updated 7 years ago,October 12, 2018
Its been a long and hard decade.
Parenting a son at the age of 17 yielded intense pains and beloved triumphs.
Now Im over the hump.
Author’s personal photo
The good outweighs the bad, and I believe the hardest times are far behind me.
Con: You miss out
I had a studio apartment in college.
Pro: Youre adulting sooner
From 16 on, Ive maintained a job.
Ive kept a grocery list.
Ive cleaned our apartment.
Having a baby early means youll have to grow up fast.
Im happy I learned these habits early-on.
Con: Youre broke
Our first apartment at 17 was a shit hole.
It was in a decrepit building in a poor neighborhood of a poor city.
I was working at Papa Ginos making pizzas for $8/hour.
I could hardly afford diapers for my newborn.
Im 28 years old now and making a good salary, and I find Im still sorta broke.
Pro: Youre motivated
It motivates me to advance my career when theres someone else who directly benefits.
Im fortunate now to say that Ive found modest success in my career.
Im currently the director of marketing at a growing tech startup.
Far from my pizza spinning days.
I loved the game, and I always wanted to play at the next level.
When my girlfriend-of-the-time got pregnant, I knew I wouldnt be able to play in college.
We enjoy the same movies.
We follow the same instagram accounts@jerryoftheday anyone?
When I was 10 years old, I sure as hell didnt want to dress like my dad.
But my son wears my hats sometimes and he likes the clothes I pick out for him.
I dont blame them for this behavior.
Pro: You raise an only-child
My son is constantly surrounded by adults.
He has uncles and grandparents who, when we get together, are undividedly focused on him.
Hes comfortable with adult conversation, and hes always been articulate as a result.
Con: You raise an only-child
My son would love some more playmates.
He doesnt have any cousins, let alone siblings, and he wont have either for a while longer.
Hes often the only kid around.
His friends families are really interesting and come from many different backgrounds.
Suburban towns are a little one-dimensional.
I probably would not have raised my son this way if I had him in my 30s.
Having a child doesnt change that.
And were still not all the way settled yet.
We started dating at 16.
We broke up by 19.
Because of that we were never pressured to marry.
I spent countless nights at my parents house, just to have the extra help for him.
Since becoming a two-parent household, Ive realized how hard it was being single.
The stability of our household is more solid than evera stark contrast to many years in flux.
Further, I feel a little uncomfortable in a room full of 40-somethings when Im only a 20-something.
This awkwardness puts me at a disadvantage.
Its harder for me to make friends with other parents, and so my peer-parent-support is limited.
Unfortunately that also means my son inevitably gets invited to fewer playdates and birthday parties.
Now I havent taken this lying down.
Its stressful now as a 28 year old, and it was ever more stressful at 17.
It appears as a scream and ends in an apology.
