I’ve been heartbroken before.
The hurt and the doubt that consumed me afterwards nearly broke me completely.
For the first time in my life, I was learning how to love myself more than someone else.
Ian Beckley
I was finally starting to become her.
Little did I know, an unexpected toxic romance would soon destroy me all over again.
As the story often begins, I was not initially attracted to him.
At least, not at the beginning.
At first it was all just fun and neither one of us was ready for anything serious.
But as time passed and we grew more comfortable together physically and emotionally we started developing feelings.
But something about him was different from any other guy I had ever met.
He made me feel so excited and anxious at the same time.
He became more charming with that bad-boy vibe that kept me wanting more.
Through the way he twisted both his and my words, I eventually believed I was a problem.
I eventually believed I wasnt worthy or capable of being loved.
I cant explain how or why, but I wanted to be with him.
I craved the excitement and I craved the chase.
I hated him, but I loved him.
I could no longer accept less than the bare minimum.
I could no longer accept not being enough.
Because I am, and have always been, more than enough.
I still struggle at times, Im not going to sugarcoat it.
Because its hard, its draining, it takes a huge piece of you with it.
Wondering why I would stay as long as I did.
Wondering why I would ever go back to him.
Wondering why I couldnt just stand up for myself.
You deserve to be adored, appreciated, loved.
You deserve to speak your truth without feeling ashamed or at fault.
You deserve vulnerability and depth to be reciprocated.
And most importantly, you deserve to be inspired by your own love story.
THAT is what you deserve, not this.
So, listen to your intuition because that pit feeling?
That inclination that something isnt right?
That feeling is what is right, so listen to it.
Listen to your heart and free your soul.
