By
Updated 5 years ago,May 29, 2020
I wasnt ready for someone like you.
You came into my life at a time when I was still healing.
When I was still learning to live with the broken pieces of myself.
God & Man
I wasnt ready for someone like you as I clung to heartbreak I thought I deserved.
You know when all youre used to is getting hurt, it becomes painfully familiar.
It isnt so much pain I feared but rather happiness.
God & Man
I was used to pain.
I knew how to respond to it.
I was used to being disappointed and let down.
I almost expected it.
Ive never looked at someone with confidence.
Ive never seen someone look at me that way.
But with you, you made it easy.
It was calling me when you said you were going to.
And hours on the phone.
It was learning about one another so quickly that I feared it a bit.
It was wanting to push you away but every time I did youd pull me in closer.
You took the pain and heartbreak I clung to and taught me I didnt deserve it.
It was simple gestures like grabbing my hand when I was driving or kissing my forehead.
I was conflicted and overcome with two emotions that made meeting you so hard.
Its the good morning texts that used to come from someone else.
Its the conversations I had to get used to with someone new.
Its someone in the past having a piece of your heart that youll never get back.
I think when you get hurt you never get back the pieces of yourself you gave to someone.
But healing is a process.
You look at them and its a slow process of not falling fast but stepping into something new cautiously.
When pain is all youve known, everything else is unfamiliar and foreign to you.
I didnt ask for you to come into my life.
Because I thought I wasnt ready.
But what if none of us are ever ready for something good and right?
What if we all stumble into these things and get handed the people we need most.
Part of me wished I could explain what it was I was going through.
That I was still healing.
That I was still getting over someone.
But the furthest I got into explaining that was saying something ended recently.
I didnt want to say more.
I didnt explain how I was still hurt.
Or there were moments right there I still thought of someone else.
I didnt explain any of these things because it wasnt fair.
I know you cant use people to fill some void.
You keep looking down at your phone sometimes wondering if that other persons name will appear.
And I know you might feel a sense of guilt being overcome with these emotions.
But all of those things take time.
Whatever pain you are feeling from someone else isnt what you deserved at all.
