Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
And I wasnt sure if I should delete them or keep them instead.
Everything SEEMED good, we were doing just fine.
Ilya Yakover
Until you stopped choosing me.
Because if I didnt, you would have been happy with me.
You would have been content.
You would have called me out for the things I did that you didnt like instead of cheating.
You would have told me directly.
You would have been grateful, and you wouldnt have done what you did.
Ilya Yakover
It wasnt just a one time thing.
It happened too many times that I began questioning what was it about me that you couldnt take?
Even up to this day.
From what Ive learned, you cant cheat grief.
If someone caught his/her significant other cheating, the normal reaction would be to get mad.
I wasnt just mad.
What was once a pure and innocent heart became a heart filled with so much hatred.
I was repelled by everything you did to me.
I hated you so much because you turned me into a person I didnt like.
I became somebody I hated.
I placed my worth on you that I didnt know how to redeem myself again.
How to get back up from this misery.
How to wake up from this nightmare.
I wish it hadnt happened.
I wish I was able to leave before it happened.
I wish I saw the signs.
I wish I wasnt blind.
I wish… (the list would go on).
But I dont have any power to go back in time and change things.
Even if I did, I probably even wouldnt take the chance.
I know because I have experienced.
Nobody deserves to becheated on.
Dont commit if you cant fully invest yourself in somebody.
Dont commit if you still want to play around.
Dont destroy somebodys perspective on love just because yours is too fucked up.
But today, after seeing photos of us, I decided that Im letting myself miss you.
Feel things and not mask what I feel anymore.
Im letting myself remember you until I cant remember what you had made me feel anymore.
Until I can finally learn how to love myself again, a hundred percent.
