Thisbookaims to bea short, intensive immersion into the perils, limits, and possibilities of human intimacy.
What is this way?
How did I get this way?
Photo by Akshar Dave on Unsplash
Our marriage involving this way.
Attempt to stop being this way.
Implications of being this way.
Or: What is it like to be this way?
How did I get this way?
What is it like for you that Im this way?
Can I stop being this way?
Can I live with being this way?
); psychological/philosophical implications of, etc.
Or: The nature of masochism.
The origins of masochism.
Our marriage involving masochism.
Attempt to surmount masochism.
A philosophy (and/or a psychology?)
Or: Acknowledgment of my masochistic tendencies.
Biological, psychological, and philosophical sources.
Manifestation in our marriage.
The sense that all there is in the authors life/heart is suffering.
The sense that, for all human beings, existence is suffering.
Or:On Being Ones Own Bitch.
Do you love me?
What kind of marriage do we want?
Or: Do you like me?
Do you care about me?
Or: Are you in love with me?
Do you like making love with me?
Do you love making love with me?
(Dont answer.)
The agon, then: [Lawrence Durrell]
What is it then between us?
[Walt Whitman]
What separates us?
How did we get here?
What do we do now?
Is there any way past except through?
History in one corner and Love in the other?
Let the fight begin.
Love, he thinks, will bring history to its knees.
[Scott Spencer]
Romance holds my attention only if it promises a sizable element of risk.
It doesnt mean its true, and it doesnt mean it isnt true.
It just means sex is everything.
Its never been a minor part of my life, even when we were hardly ever having sex.
Treatment for opening out that book into a movie:
Plot Point A. Alans high (unrealistic?)
expectations for Michelle and himself cause the project to implode and Alan to face the possibility of failure.
And theres solace in that.
She sees a little beyond herself.
Whereas Alan is an expert on everyone elses pain except his own.
Michelle sees her own iciness as brokenness, whereas Alan somewhat madly persists in seeing it as sexy distance.
By films end, does he finally get this?
Are illusions better than nothing?
Can we sustain ourselves on dream crumbs?
What else can we do?
What else is there but dreams, phantoms, and other people?
[Hilton Als]
Lets say Im writing a love letter to you.
Im just trying to be as truthful as possible.
Im not thinking, How is it going to affect you?
Maybe youll love this one.
Maybe youll hate it.
Or: I still dont know you at all; hence this letter.
(It would be such a relief to be honest, for once.
Im dying for everything to get out in the open, but it never does.)
Perhaps thats why I put it to sleep in the first place.
Ill send it along, though, because I cant really remedy my old impressions.
According to Jacques Lacan, A letter always arrives at its destination.
Beware what you say, you say to me.It has a way of getting found out.
