Your friends are supposed to be your lifeline, your port in the storm, your healing.
They are supposed to grant you peace, not be the architects of your agony.
Answer: When you get the sneaking suspicion that it never even began.
Helena Lopes
Last week I had the distinct pleasure of terminating an on-again, off-again friendship.
It is a friendship that is constantly in turmoil and seeks perpetual reconciliation.
In hindsight, we enjoyed a functional friendshipnothing more, nothing less.
I realize that it gave me what I was used toinconsistency.
It fed my abandonment wound and complimented my father wound very well.
I would stuff my feelings and pretend that everything was fine.
I was afraid of being seen as too emotional, too demanding, too overbearing.
I was afraid that if I said anything, it would ruin the friendship.
I was afraid of being abandoned again.
Our commitment to these relationships is just a reactive reflection of our unhealed holes.
You should never have to question whether or not someone is a real friend to you.
If you do, then you already have your answer.
Your friends are supposed to be your lifeline, your port in the storm, your healing.
They are supposed to grant you peace, not be the architects of your agony.
I deserve a full-time friend, not one who feels the need to take emotional sabbaticals whenever difficulties arise.
You deserve good, healthy, quality association.
