Stop waiting for him to show up with flowers and say he’s sorry.
Cue the sad I-miss-you montage.
It happens especially in Disney movies, the movies I was raised on.
Nate Nessman
High School Musical always stuck out to me.
Thats why I always thought heartbreak couldnt be so bad.
But none of those movies prepared me for what heartbreak really feels like.
These movies make you believe hes missing you too.
Now that Ive experienced it, I know thats usually not the case.
Because when youre struggling to fall asleep, hes sleeping soundly with another girl already.
You hope every weekend hell drunk text you, confess his love for you and beg for another chance.
You pray hes out there getting drunk every night because he cant bear the thought of being without you.
All you want is a sign he misses you too.
But you were eating up every word.
You just want to hear that hes hurting too, but hes not.
You cant move on when it hurts this bad.
Why the fuck doesnt it hurt him?
Was any of it real if he doesnt feel like you do?
But you want him to show somehow that the breakup affected him too.
And you pray, oh god you pray, that it wasnt a lie.
When he promised hed still do anything for you, that was a lie too.
When you need him the most, he will not respond.
you could still be there for him all you want, but itll only hold you back.
Because you assume hes struggling too.
He doesnt need you anymorehes found new ways to handle his stressors.
Any contact with him will hold you back, and every day will get harder to live without him.
Because the truth is there will be no grand romantic gesture.
Hes not Troy Bolton.
There wont be a drunk text on Friday night that assures you he still cares somehow.
You wont hear from your friends that he was asking about you the other day because he doesnt care.
Every second without him, it gets harder to breathe.
When you tell him you need him, it will not change a thing.
When you tell him you care about him, he will not suddenly care about you.
Theres nothing it’s possible for you to do to make him care again.
Stop waiting for him to show up with flowers and say hes sorry.
Hes not sorry, hes not coming, he does not have the capacity to love like you.
Its going to hurt for a while.
Oh god, its going to hurt.
You wont be able to sleep, and when you do itll hurt to wake up.
Youll have dreams about him only to wake up and discover it was a nightmare.
Youll see a truck that looks like his and want to throw up in the middle of town.
Embrace those feelings; let it hurt for a while.
Allow your heart to fall completely apart because eventually itll put itself back together.
Dont stop loving forever.
Dont lose your capacity to love someone so much be ruined in the hurt of losing him.
Youll be okay again.
Youll love someone again, and maybe youll feel this kind of heartbreak again, but eventually you wont.
Eventually someone will love you enough to not let you feel this way ever again.
Hold on to that and take every painful morning one day at a time.
