I regret leaving and especially the pain that ensued.
I regret the damage that Ive done to the life of another.
By
Updated 2 months ago,March 4, 2025
I left you because I was afraid.
Photo by Thoa Ngo via Unsplash
Even if I couldnt see it back then.
Couldnt see past my own fears of intimacy and commitment.
I often wonder if I did the right thing.
Was leaving you ever a choice I should have considered?
Was leaving ever worth the pain that I caused?
But now I see it perfectly clear what fear really means.
Fear is the ultimate destroyer of connection because it makes you doubt the very foundations of a relationship.
In doing some self-reflection, I have realized that with you was the happiest Ive ever been.
And I lost that because I wasnt ready and because I let fear govern my thoughts and my actions.
I wasnt ready to give you everything when you had given me your all.
I regret leaving and especially the pain that ensued.
I regret the damage that Ive done to the life of another.
How a seemingly well put together girl left you heartbroken and miserable.
And I am sorry.
It was never your problem alone.
I now know that I ran because I was afraid.
And I couldnt face what I had done either.
But the blame was never on you.
And I still cant believe I let you slip right through my fingertips.
I had a guy that wanted me and only me.
I had a guy that cherished every second we spent together.
I had a guy who saw me as the prettiest girl in the world.
I lost the one good relationship in my life and I didnt fight for it back.
Instead, I cowardly ran.
So this is me apologizing for the damage.
This is me apologizing for the tears I caused.
This is the regret and guilt I never felt coming back to haunt me.
If I could hold you in my arms for a day, I would.
If I could tell you all my fears and sorrows, I would.
I would tell you every little bit of explanation you needed until you felt like you had an answer.
So you wouldnt be left so confused and tumbling down a self-destructive path.
To this day, Im still thinking of you.
