It’s my fault we’re not together, and I’m sorry about that.
Im sorry that I hurt you and that I hurt myself.
I hardly tried at all, firmly situated in defense-mode.
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This lesson came for me during a recent exchange.
I witnessed someone blow up their relationship with a guy who was interested, invested, and honest.
But at the first sign of disagreement, I panicked.
He tried to meet me halfway, and I told myself I was reciprocating his efforts.
I expected heartbreak, so I thought Id get ahead of it and rip the band-aid off myself.
The problem was there was no need for a band-aid in the first place because there was no cut.
I assumed dishonesty without evidence while discrediting the openness hed shown me thus far.
I spent so much energy on the defense that I couldnt see there was nothing to be defensive about.
Oddly enough, sometimes we are the ones standing in our own way.
But your past does not need to define your present.
Dont blame your past experiences to justify hurtful actions you push out into the world today.
Maybe someone that hurt you made you this waybutyoure the one keeping yourself this way.
Hurt people hurt people, while drowning in a shallow puddle of the past.
Love people even when you dont want to; more importantly, when you dont want to.
Opening yourself up to the possibility of heartbreak is worth the opposing outcome.
