When someone asks how I am, my gut instinct is to pretend that everything is okay.
Its impossible to put these feelings into words.
If I tried to tell someone why Ive been soblahlately, they wouldnt understand what I meant.
God & Man
They wouldnt grasp the extent of how much pain my brain is putting me through.
I dont want them to worry about me.
I want them to think Im living a happy, fulfilling life.
I dont want to bring them down with my misery.
Theyre only saying what theyve been conditioned to say.
They dont expect an actual answer.
God & Man
They would rather hear a pretty lie than the ugly truth.
I lie about being fine, because in comparison to most people, my lifeisfine.
I lie about being fine, because its what Ive always done.
The idea of opening my heart up and telling the truth doesnt even cross my mind anymore.
When someone asks how I am, my gut instinct is to pretend that everything is okay.
I lie about being fine, because I would rather have people look at me like Im strong.
I dont want to come across as a drama queen or even worse, as someone to be pitied.
I dont want people to think Im overly emotional and tiptoe around my emotions.
I dont want to be treated any differently than I am now.
When Im with them, I want to enjoy myself.
I want to use their company as an escape.
I want to forget about my problems while theyre around, not talk about them.
I lie about being fine, because Im embarrassed about the way that I feel.
I wish that I could easily smile instead of forcing fake ones.
I wish that I could enjoy the moment instead of always finding something to complain about.
I wish that I knew how to reach happiness instead of constantly wallowing in my own misery.
I lie about being fine, because Im trying to trick myself into believing that its the truth.
Im trying to get better.
Im trying to be happy again.
Im trying to convince everyone, include myself, that things are going to be okay.
