In marriage, either your spouse is #1, or youre doing it wrong.
Take all the time you’re gonna wanna think before answering.
Just dont be a lying doucheface when you make your list.
Paul Garcia Fotografia
Unless it was a legit one-time incident, dont rank your spouse ahead of video games on your list.
I think manyperhaps mostpeople have other things and people ranked ahead of their spouses.
They wont say it.
But they dont have to.
you’re able to see what people do.
And for me, it was THIS.
I feel like my wife prioritized her family of origin over our marriage.
I thought I was being noble by not calling that one out.
What About the Kids?
Shouldnt They Come First?
It twists my insides a little.Thats usually how I know something is true when it feels uncomfortable and inconvenient.
I say that without judgment.
Im divorced largely because I prioritized all kinds of bullshit ahead of my wife and our relationship.
And yes, that includes our children.
And yes, that includes our parents and families of origin.
And yes, that idea makes me uncomfortable.
But its still true.
Are you seriously saying we should choose our husbands and wives over our children?
I can ALMOST understand the parents thing.
My kids come first no matter what!
Bad news: You end up getting someone like me.
(Sorry mom.)
You raise kids who grow up believing theyre uniquely special even though theyre not.
The Adam and Eve Bible story famously depicts the first marriage.
In the story, youll find the word cleave which describes what were supposed to do to our spouse.
The word cleave means to adhere to, stick to, or join with.
just remember: You dont have to get married, and maybe you shouldnt.
(NOTE: Im writing specifically about married moms and dads who made babies together.
Youre born to your parents.
They and any siblings are all you know and love.
Love tends to be part of the package.
When youre older, and your offspring are born, you are all they know and love.
And the intense love we feel for our children is something beyond description.
And again, the love is easy.
We tend to not need reminders to feel love for our kids.
THAT is a particularly unique and special relationship.
Your spouse is someone you CHOOSE.
Out of every human beingbillions of themyou choose that person.
Love is a choice we must make every day.
The proof was in the pudding.
You teach them what marriage is supposed to look like.
You provide a safe and unbreakable home.
You provide a lifelong foundation from which to build their futures.
Your parents will pass one day.
It will be hard.
You will provide the same support for her or him.
Your children will move out one day.
It will be hard.
You will provide the same support for her or him.
And there youll be.
Waking up every day seeking purpose and adventure.
