Then I would delete the shameful evidence, wiping away the remnants of my lust with an old t-shirt.
I liked what I was doing, but I hated what I liked.
I liked what I was doing, but I hated what I liked.
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His eyes followed me everywhere I went.
My desires hadnt yet materialized outside the realm of my imagination and Id convinced myself that they never would.
He was always watching.
Courtesy of Netflix
I couldnt see the upside to coming out.
My mother discovered that I was gay the same way a lot of millennial parents did.
The truth was exposed in the unpleasant silence I couldnt break.
The act of revealing my sexuality sent a buzz through me.
Still, I stalled.
The act of revealing my sexuality sent a buzz through me.
Regardless, sometime during my senior year, the facade seemed to fade.
Id shrug, evading eye contact to mumble some guarded distortion.
The aforementioned friend introduced me to a classmate Id never met before.
I knew she knew.
She knew that I knew she knew.
I wanted to say both, but could muster neither response.
Hes metrosexual, my friend chimed in, saving me.
Theyre kinda gay, but they still like women.
The invasive stranger stared me down in my oversized t-shirt and skateboarder drag and shrugged before continuing the conversation.
My friend shot me a sly smile and I sent one back in appreciation.She knew.
I knew she knew.
She knew that I knew she knew.
But she would let it stay a secret until I decided it shouldnt be one anymore.
Time is an incredible concept.
And nowadays, I tell people Im gay with the exact same effort it takes to yawn.
Love is confusing for all of us.
Find out how Alex navigates the dating world inAlex Strangelove, available now on Netflix.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-1KhZiQs3U&w=560&h=315]
