University of California Los Angeles You say things like “I don’t know anything about Middle America”.
You tell everyone that Kourtney Kardashian went to U of A.
University of California Los Angeles
You say things like I dont know anything about Middle America.
Animal House
Trump University
There is nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing, especially not with your hands!
You have very big hands the biggest, some say!
Also you understand that a fine steak is most delicious well done with a side of ketchup.
Ah, the wonderful taste of a charred America!
On Saturdays, you buy a rainbow bagel just so you’re able to Instagram it.
Arizona State University
You judge people who dont have a tan year-round.
Animal House
Your signature drink is a vodka-soda.
Youre still pissed about that joke they made on SNL about ASU.
Vassar College
You think everyone needs to try shrooms at least once, man.
You have really strong opinions on body hair and also, everything else.
Georgetown University
You really want to be President.
Your dad really wants you to be President.
Vanderbilt
You never stop repeating the phrase Harvard of the South.
You swear Nashville is cooler than it seems.
University of Texas Austin
You still wear bracelets with weed leaves on them.
Duke University
You drive a Mercedes but talk a lot about your part-time job.
University of California Berkeley
You think capitalism is a disease but you still wear $100 Birkenstocks.
Gonzaga University
You didnt drink for the first time until you were actually 21.
Villanova University
You have to do the sorority squat in every picture.
Youre totally sure nothing will ever be better than college was.
University of Maryland
You still wear cargo shorts.
You would eat a car tire as long as it were smothered in Old Bay.
Auburn University
Your favorite T.V.
show is Friday Night Lights.
Boston College
Youre Conveniently Catholic and probably drunk right now.
Julliard School
You judge people who have a backup plan.
Stanford University
You play squash unironically.
You totally couldve gotten a job at Google but it just wasnt a good fit.
University of California Santa Cruz
You work at Cold Stone Creamery and never wear shoes.
You havent been sober in three years.
University of Montana
You think slack-lining should be in the Olympics.
Theres at least one half-empty bottle of whiskey rolling around somewhere in your car.
University of Miami
You havent worn a shirt in four years and you think sunscreen is bullshit.
Evergreen State College
You think the government is out to get you.
At least you got a monogrammed backpack out of it.
Bethel University
Youve lost every game of Never Have I Ever that youve ever played.
Providence College
You dress like a frat bro even though your school doesnt even have Greek Life.
Williams College
Naturally, you landed an awesome internship straight out of college.
Wellesley College
You never hesitate to bring up that time you met Hillary Clinton.
You also cant emphasize enough how hard you cried when she shook your hand.
You once threw up seven times in one night but still rallied afterwards.
You then put it on your resume.
Yale
You were in a male a capella group and put that on your resume.
They hired the guy from Rutgers.
Bob Jones University
You skip some parts of the Bible because theyre too sexual.
Sarah Lawrence College
Your parents are Republicans but you dont believe in government.
You also named your dog after a beer brand.
City University of New York Baruch
Your main life goal is to own a skyscraper.
Carleton College
You aspire to be more like Barney from How I Met Your Mother.
You say suit up unironically.
College of William and Mary
Youre convinced you were born in the wrong generation.
Hampshire College
You still dont know how you accidentally founded that super successful media startup.
University of Vermont
You majored in horticulture until your parents pulled your funding.
Now you work at a bike shop in Burlington and refuse to shower on principle.
Southern Methodist University
You peaked in high school.
University of the Arts
You take karaoke and flash mobs way too seriously.
Ithaca College
You followed Phish around for an entire summer but now you work in PR.
Texas A & M
The most valuable thing you own is your grandmothers pearls.
South Dakota State
Im sorry, what?
University of Connecticut
The cows on your campus are more fun than the student body.
West Virginia University
Youre determined to be a hometown rapper.
Cloud State University
You married someone who makes you worry they love their boat more than your kids.
Colorado State University
You vape in public.
University of Nebraska Lincoln
College football games are more important to you than the Super Bowl.
Emerson College
You thought you were the David Beckham of Quidditch.
University of Alaska Anchorage
You had to Google Are there colleges in Alaska?
when applying for school.
North Central College
You wear Sperrys out to bars.
University of Pennsylvania
Youre embarrassed Donald Trump went there but you still partied with Tiffany.
Point Park University
When you get drunk you start singing verses from Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.
Harvard University
Your dining hall looks like Hogwarts but youre still depressed.
Northern Arizona University
Not A University.
University of Notre Dame
Your family religiously watchesRudyevery Christmas.
University of Ohio Miami
You accidentally applied to the wrong school but didnt get in anywhere else.
Youre sick of the cheese jokes.
Columbia University
When people ask you where you live, you say Harlem.
Cornell University
No one can remember if you went to an Ivy or not.
University of Delaware
You have no memory of your freshman year.
Waldorf University
You wear hoodies and moccasins year-round.
Also, you wont admit it but your basketball court is ugly.
Virginia Commonwealth University
You consider beer a food group.
California State University Chico
You had a C+ average in high school.
University of Minnesota
You might actually die of exposure if Patagonia ever shuts down.
University ofAlabama
You have a crimson-tinged shrine to Nick Saban in your dorm room.
University of Central Florida
U Cant Finish.
Texas State University
You didnt get into UT-Austin.
Rhode Island School of Design
You have 15,000 followers on Instagram.
You took a glass-blowing workshop and this is the millionth time youve talked about it.
