Because I was trying to convince him to date me.
Instead of heeding his warning and saving my heart, I decided to take a risk on him anyway.
I thought sleeping with him would change his mind about me.
Ye Fung Tchen
I thought it would make him realize how much he cared about me.
Because we were already dating.I felt like sleeping with him was part of the deal.
The insecure voice in the back of my mind told me he would leave without sex.
I would never let him go too long without crawling on top of me.
Because I was feeling insecure.I wanted to feel pretty.
I wanted to feel valued.
I wanted a reminder of my worth.
I sent a text.
I met up with someone.
I slept with him to fill a void.
I wanted to erase the rejection from my mind.
I wanted to feel wanted.
So I found someone else who wanted me but it didnt help.
I was thinking about my crush the entire time.
I couldnt believe someone as good looking as him was interested in someone like me.
He could pick any woman he wanted.
I assumed that meant he would know what he was doing in the bedroom.
It turned out, it meant he was selfish.
It meant he thought he could get away with doing absolutelynothing.
It was a way to distract myself from my problems.
It was a way to escape for a little while.
For a little while.
I had no idea what my body was capable of feeling.
Before him, I had low standards.
I let men get away with thrusting twice and calling it sex.
I wasnt spoiled back then, so I took what I could get.
But that is never going to happen again and you shouldnt let it happen to you either.
