Losing you freed me, gave me my self worth back.
By
Updated 4 years ago,August 30, 2021
Its been months since you left me.
The first time, at least.
Jérôme Licht
At first, I hated you.
Ill admit I ran your name around, talked a little trash to anyone who would listen.
I thought it was helping me cope to hate you.
The easy way never really works though.
Its a part-time solution to a long term problem.
But Im big enough to admit now that I dont hate you.
After everything you did to me, I cant bring myself to hate you even if I want to.
Because when I think about us, all I think about are the good times.
I think about you singing country songs to me in your truck and how much I loved your voice.
Im trying to train myself out of that habit though.
Im trying to remember all the bad things.
The reasons we didnt work out, the reasons well never work out.
Thinking about it now still makes me feel lower than I ever knew possible.
Its hard to think about those times anymore.
To crawl back into your bed and feel you breathing one more time.
I would sell my soul to lose the bad and get back to the way we were before.
Before the heartbreak and loss.
And to have you just as excited to talk to me.
But were not those same people anymore.
Those people are long gone.
Without my trust, Im another person.
Your promises mean nothing because I meant nothing.
So much of who I am was you.
How naive was I?
I will never be enough for you, and you will no longer be enough for me.
I sent my best friend a text one day after finding out you cheated again.
I know youve read it, I know its in your messages because she sent it to you.
I no longer feel those things.
Losing you freed me, gave me my self worth back.
Finally, I can say I wouldnt take you back if you asked.
For the first time in months, I dont want you.
I dont want you.
And that has freed me more than you’re able to imagine.
