This is for me.
Ive looked at the pieces and tried to make sense of their brokenness with my friends.
But it doesnt make sense.Heartbreak rarely does.
Helga Weber
So, this is for me.
Not for you.This is me telling myself the things I need so that let go and move on.
These are the things I want to tell you but will never get the chance too.
This is me telling you I love you.I love you in the purest of forms.
The kind of love that I never knew existed until I met you.
Its also the kind of love that I know will come around again.
Helga Weber
Before you, I didnt actually think it existed and now after you I know it does.
Even though it didnt work out, its still something I know I want and will find again.
This is me telling you Im sorry.Im so damn sorry for everything I did that was completely wrong.
While you did a lot of things that hurt me, I wasnt perfect.
I became a version of me that I hated.
I became a person that I never thought I would ever end up being and for that Im sorry.
Im sorry I made you doubt any piece of yourself.
Im sorry for pushing you.
Im just sorry for the way things went.
This is me telling you Im so damn angry.So fucking angry.
I want to scream at you and tell you everything about yourself thats so fucked up.
I want you to regret what youve done and to feel the pain that Im feeling.
This is me telling you Im moving.I have too.
I cant be in my apartment and feel the memories that we made because they are so completely palpable.
I cant be continuously reminded of the nights I spent with you and how happy you made me.
I cant be another heart that you bury in a deep grave and pretend doesnt exist anymore.
I told you if you ever break my heart that you will never see me again.
Thats a promise I intend to keep.
This is me telling you that the damage you did wasnt irreversible.It wasnt.
You didnt break me, you just left a little damage.
Im going to miss the way your voice got soft when you were trying to soothe me.
Im going to miss your humor, smarts and smile.
Even if all of that was only temporary before you turned into someone else.
Someone I dont even recognize anymore.
This is me telling you I forgive you.I forgive you.
Yeah, I stopped eating and sleeping for a bit.
Yeah, I have doubted my worth every single day since you left.
Yeah, trusting another person with my heart is going to be damn near impossible.
But I forgive you because you deserve to be forgiven and I deserve to move on.
This is me walking away knowing that things are going to get better.Slowly but surely its getting better.
Those endless nights of insomnia have stopped and Ive managed to dream of something other than your face.
I have more time for the things and the people I love.
This is me telling you that Im going to be OK without you.So, dont look back.
Find yourself and know that Im finding me.
