You just learn to stop feeling things so deeply.
You learn to stop acting on those emotions.
You learn to stop believing in the one days and the maybes.
Timothy Paul Smith
You let go of hope and feel both deflated and defeated.
And youre never go to get the ending you wanted or the apology you might have deserved.
The ugly honest truth is you never actually lose feelings for the person.
Timothy Paul Smith
I dont care how much time passes or who you each date.
Those feelings linger and subside but they dont just leave because the person might have.
Like the inactivity of a format volcano, the feelings are there but nothing is happening with them.
Theres always wanting to make them jealous.
Theres always a piece of you that wants them to feel what you felt.
But the root of those ill intensions is caring.
You want to know they care even a little.
You flirt more and laugh louder than you should.
Even if you arent.
So you fake it.
Self doubt is replaced it with confidence.
Your broken heart is hidden and replaced with a smile.
Even if youre not realizing it.
Because they did have a lot of redeeming qualities.
Because at least you had their attention.
You used to get excited when their name came across your notifications.
You used to post stories just hoping theyd be the first to see it.
They used to consume so much of your day with conversations that gave you hope.
More than that they consumed your thoughts.
You looked at them and you truly believed they were the best thing that ever came into your life.
They didnt just have it, they were it.
This standard no one else could compete with because you put them on a pedastal.
And maybe they didnt deserve to be there but you miss seeing them in that light.
Because when an almost relationship ends whats really ending is the person you thought they were.
Here is someone youve emotionally connected with at a level deeper than some people you even dated.
Over time you dont answer so fast just because they texted you.
Over time you dont care that they looked at your story.
You learn to live your life detaching yourself from them.
And that hurts like hell.
Maybe they like you enough to mess with you and entertain themselves with your attention.
Maybe they like you enough to see how you react to every game they play.
But at the end of the day they dont like you enough to choose you.
And you realize youve spent a lot of time choosing someone who was never doing the same.
And even when you start a new relationship there are moments you catch yourself wishing it was with them.
