Spoiler Alert: Its not that bad, and in every case theres a happy ending!
When things finally start warming up, you will find an unwanted ring of blubber around your midsection.
You will put yourself on a strict Paleo diet along with an intense daily Pilates workout.
Thong Vo
But the time Bikini Season rolls around, your flab will evaporate like snow under a warm sun.
He will sweep you off your feetfor a week.
And then he will mysteriously disappear, leaving you heartbroken and forlorn.
Then you will get a text warning from your bank.
Thankfully, the bank will recover your losses.
Thats the bad news.
Thong Vo
For a few weeks youll be freaking out as it seems that half of your family believes it.
Then this distant family member will be arrested for precisely the sort of perverted acts he accused you of.
Your family reputation will be not only be restored, it will be better than ever.
Plus, youll have lifelong moral leverage over the family members who were foolish enough to swallow the rumors.
He will recommend a biopsy.
Capricorn
On a summertimecampingtrip with friends, you will be bitten by a wasp.
The pain will be unlike anything youve felt before.
You will realize that both food and sex are always better in the great outdoors.
He was a sweet man, devoted to his family and friends and loved by all.
You will be genuinely sad at his passing.
Pisces
You will start getting mysterious text messages from an unknown number.
