The more you explore your options, the more you miss what you used to have.
You don’t want first dates and first kisses.
You want boring nights on the couch in your pajamas, talking about what your wedding would be like.
Twenty20 / hannitary
But now, it feels like you have all the time in the world.
You dont know what to do with all of it.
You try your best to keep busy, because if youre stagnant for too long, your mind wanders.
Your memories torture you.
Youre reminded of your heartache.
So you call up friends you havent heard from in a while.
Twenty20 / hannitary
Maybe you work overtime.
Maybe you never stop stealing snacks from the fridge.
Either way, you indulge insomething, because you used to indulge in love and now its gone.
You dont know what to do.
You get excited as you swipe through faces, see all of your possibilities.
All of the choices, all of the futures.
No one makes you feel like your ex.
No one makes you as happy as your ex.
The more you explore your options, the more you miss what you used to have.
You dont want first dates and first kisses.
You want boring nights on the couch in your pajamas, talking about what your wedding would be like.
You wish you could see your exs face again, so you do the next best thing.
You stalk their social media and look too far into things.
Instead of daydreaming about going on a date yourself, you fantasize aboutyour exgoing on a date.
About them having a first kiss.
About them having sex again.
About them being blissfully happy while youre still miserable.
Maybe you delete it or maybe you press send and immediately regret it.
Either way, it feels like a mistake.
It feels like you already suck at being single.
You miss your old relationship.
You miss having someone to text during your lunch break.
You miss having someone to cuddle while you sleep.
You miss having someone to miss.
It feels like the pain will last forever.
