Its never easy, but if youve already left your abuser, youve done the hardest part.
But now that youre dealing with the aftermath, how do you heal?
Because recovering is never complete.
Photo byLuis ChacononUnsplash
The scars they left you with dont just go away.
They lessen with time, and eventually youll feel okay, but I cant promise you itll be easy.
Its never easy, but if youve already left your abuser, youve done the hardest part.
But now that youre dealing with the aftermath, how do you heal?
How do you trust again?
How do you cope?
I tried drinking away my thoughts, I remember days passing and not being able to eat.
I was addicted to sleeping medication, because if I didnt take it, I wouldnt sleep.
I remember my first nightmare after escaping.
We were in someones house, and every new room Id go to, I could hear him coming.
I was finding hiding places before he could get to me.
I woke up sweating and bawlingI couldnt escape the damage hed done.
The recovery process is never pretty.
Because nobody tells you that you still have to grieve.
You dont know that you have to mourn the death of the future you pictured.
You have to go through the five stages of grief for someone whos still alive.
The denial usually happens while youre still in the relationship.
Youll deny that this is abuse.
Because they love you, because they said they were sorry, because they were drunk.
These excuses are you denying the hard truththat the life you were planning is dead and gone.
The anger and depression can mix.
The depression, I found, can last through all other stages of grief even after the acceptance.
Your anger might be at them; you might be furious.
Howdarethey lay their hands on me.
What gives them the right to destroy me, take away my entire being with their fists?
Its normal and healthy to be angry.
Then you begin bargaining.
You start trying to negotiate with yourself.
It might sound like a good idea now.
What if this one last chance is really the last chance?
What if this is the last chance you have to back up your own life?
Its not worth it.
Finally, youre ready for acceptance.
I wont lie, this stage usually wont come for a long time.
Its also the most freeing feeling in the world.
This is the stage you finally feel like a person again.
This is where you reclaim yourself.
This is the time of reckoning; this is your survival.
This is where youwin.
