Whats going to hurt is the moment you realize you did nothing to make her want to stay.
It was hard for her to walk away and not look back.
She was around and gave you so much attention so often you took her for granted.
Toa Heftiba
Youre still going to think shes someone you could pick and choose when you want to.
What you dont realize is she made the choice to walk away already.
And it broke her heart to do so.
But she had to because you left her with no other choice.
If you werent going to appreciate her presence shed make you realize what you lostin her absence.
Its going to happen when you least expect it.
Youll see her somewhere and she might not even notice you at first.
Shell be so consumed by the attention of someone else.
A casual conversation where youre talking but not actually saying anything.
You never saw how torn up she was about every little thing.
But she lost sleep over you.
You spent too much time talking about you.
Too much time emotionally invested.
And when youre emotionally invested in someone you dont see how bad they are for you sometimes.
And you arent hearing from her firsthand like you used to.
Its going to hurt a bit once you realize that.
Youll go to text her and youll realize you dont even know how to say hello.
Youll realize there are so many things you want to tell her.
And you think back to a time when every conversation she made about you.
Evenwhen you ignored hershed send a double text continuing to try and keep the conversation going.
But whats going to hurt more is that it took you this long to realize she was already gone.
Youll miss the little details of her life even the things she used to complain about.
Youll miss even the things that used to annoy you about her.
How long her texts were, how shed answer in less than 5 seconds making it so easy.
How predictable she was and how you thought shed always be there.
Because no matter what you did or how you treated her it never altered the way she treated you.
Youll miss having someone who genuinely cared about you.
Someone who took time out of their day to ask how you were and wait for an answer.
Someone who went out of their way and always made sure they were there.
Someone who took the time to learn and understand you.
Someone who wanted to know about your past to understand why you were the way you were.
After talking to her she thought you could do anything because thats how much she believed in you.
Youll find yourself driving and a song will start playing and youll freeze for a moment thinking of her.
Youll think back to a time when you knew she cared even when you didnt.
Moments where she poured her heart out to you and all you did was listen.
And youll hate yourself for realizing it too late that you really do care.
Maybe you always have.
And you probably always will care a little bit.
Forever leaving a little bit of an imprint on your heart.
Shell leave and you wont even be able to be angry at her for it.
Youre more so angry at yourself for not realizing what you had when you had it.
But what she doesnt realize is how you do care.
