This Is Why I Had To Cut You Out Of My Life

And as much as it hurts to write this, I love my life.

Without you in it.

On every social media platform.

Makhmutova Dina

I had to block you out of my life.

I had to block you out of my head and out of my heart.

Because being friends with you wasnt working.

And the thing is, I didnt do it for you.

I didnt do it to make you mad or to make you feel any sort of emotion.

I didnt do it so youd miss me or want me.

Makhmutova Dina

I did it for me.

I had to cut you out, sharply and loudly.

And Im not sorry for doing it.

I did it for me so I could give myself a chance.

So I could give myself a shot at love that isnt with you.

I did it for me to give my heart a fucking break.

To treat myself better than you ever did.

I had to do it, to be kind to myself.

I was lying to myself for a very long time.

I thought that our friendship was more important than what I really wanted.

That having you in my life was better than not having you at all.

Turns out, it wasnt better.

And I finally had enough.

I had to erase you.

At least erase what I could find from the click of a button.

I had to wash away that love.

I did it for me.

I did it out of the kindness of my heart for myself.

I didnt do it for you.

I did it because I love me more than I used to love you.

And when I was with you, I dont think I loved myself.

I think I loved myself because you loved me.

But that was a long time ago.

Im a different person with a different heart.

I love my life.

And as much as it hurts to write this, I love my life.

Without you in it.

To be honest, I never thought I would.

Id laugh and pull you in close promising you forever.

I used to say that you were the only thing that made feel whole.

I used to say that you were the thing that made me shine.

I used to say that you were the person who loved me the most.

Because I love me more than anything or anyone.

And I can finally, finally put you in the past and put myself back in first place.

So, I blocked you.

I cut you out.

And Im so happy I had the guts to do it.

To put myself before someone else.

To freaking adore the life I have.