Theres no need to rush.
Lifes not a competition.
The first month on the new job was tough.
I was excited but at the same time, I started questioning every choice Id made.
I didnt know if the move was the right one.
I wasnt sure what would be next.
I came home many days completely drained and stressed.
I got incredibly anxious, losing my composure and frame.
I constantly sought attention from others because I couldnt feel okay on my own.
I couldnt be with myself.
I forgot what it was like to be me.
Id always been good with my alone time and being with myself so this episode really freaked me out.
It was intense and kept spiraling.
I thought, what if things would never get better?
What if I would never be the happy, confident me again?
What if my life would just go downhill from here?
Worse, what if this is who I truly am?
And the panic continued.
But of course, I was wrong.
Its not who I am.
But at this early stage of life, I must accept that I dont know shit.
I dont even have to.
I dont have to have all the answers and its okay if I never do.
Nothing bad will happen if I just take my time to breathe and move along at my own pace.
Theres no need to rush.
Nothing else seems to matter but my well-being.
It gives me a sense of significance just by being a living human.
Its building a life I actually want to live, not one to escape from.
Im convinced things will never get better as I see no light in my life.
But this belief is so not true.
The anxious feeling is temporary and it will pass.
It has passed every single time and I will feel healthy again, if not even stronger.
Just because I cant see any light right now doesnt mean theres no light.
The light will come in again and I will be thankful for my own preservation.
Really, the light is in me.
But its always temporary and I would feel shitty again.
Hint: Theyre not healthy.
Giving in to distractions is easy but weak.
Its important that I accept what was done and forgive myself for my unattractively anxious behaviors.
They dont define me.I can always do better.
Its deep in the way I feel and I must honor it.
