By
Updated 4 years ago,November 9, 2020
This year, I finally let you go.
I would have argued and fought with anyone that tried to tell me that I deserved better.
Because I simply didnt believe so.
Thomas Brand
Its funny yet scary how my mind worked.
How stubbornly I can cling onto illusion and started thinking it was real.
How I can completely be in denial mode of what was happening.
Maybe it was my past history of how no relationship had worked for me.
Maybe it was because of my insecurities that deep down; I was a very wrecked and unhappy person.
Maybe I was attracted to your darkness and chaos seeing as I was accustomed to it.
Maybe it was less scary to be in a relationship than to get used to being single again.
I harbored desperate hope that one day, you would change and loved me.
I kept trying until one day, you crossed the line and something in me snapped.
I couldnt take it anymore.
I couldnt turn a blind eye to how toxic you were and how my sanity was slipping away.
I couldnt go on a day without dreaming of breaking free from you and walking away.
And I have lost you each time you broke my trust and disregarded my worth.
Letting you go is one of the hardest thing Ive done.
Its not just releasing my hold on you or removing you from my life.
Its the idea that what we could have that was killing me.
The hopes and dreams of the future.
The memories of what we used to have.
The brutal truth that were better off without each other.
This year, I have finally decided to let you go.
I know that this is the best thing I can do for myself.
I know that next year at this time, I would be glad I did.
By then, I would be truly over you.
