Kenny Chesney
In my head, Im difficult to deal with.
In my head, I feed myself a million lies.
But there are moments I believe it.
Look Catalog
There are moments I become my own worst enemy.
Moments where Im inside my own head completely self-destructing.
Its the anxiety as I overanalyze a situation, wondering what I did or said that was wrong.
Look Catalog
Its the anxiety of always thinking Im the one to blame.
Its thoughts that plague me and the friends who have to remind me its okay.
Everything will be okay.
Its thedepressionthat makes me want to be alone but at the same time want company.
Its countering thenegativityand just reminding me I have two choices here.
Sometimes I think Im difficult to deal with.
Sometimes I wonder why anyone would choose me if they knew me to the core of who I was.
Sometimes I look at the people who do and I wonder what they are gaining from this relationship?
Sometimes I think theyd be better off without me.
Because while they are helping me float Im trying to drown them, maybe not intentionally.
Sometimes I think Im a burden for needing them so much.
When things are off, an off day I call it, these things rush through my head.
Half of the time I wonder do they feel sorry for me?
Im overcome with guilt when those thoughts cross my mind.
Im not the most religious person in the world but its these people who make me believe in something.
Your eyes are skewed.
You have depressed lens.
A perfectionist lens, Kate Fagan
I know Im never going to see things as they are.
Those nights where Im not sleeping.
Those nights where Im crying in a ball and not telling anyone about it.
There is a loneliness to having the wrong company.
There are times where you might look out and you know a storm is coming.
A storm of suffering.
And you know its nothing it’s possible for you to run from because you tried in the past.
But there is comfort in finding those people who stand with you.
Those people who arent there to provide you with answers or have a go at fix this.
