None of this would have happened if I hadnt met you first.
I cried, a lot.
I pleaded for it to not be over.
Pixabay
I struggled, hard, to let it go.
Thats why hindsight is 20/20 is a thing, right?
That breakup was the catalyst for me to get my shit together and figure myself out.
It triggered me toget healthy in every sense of the word.
Losing you helped me find me, and for that Ill be forever grateful.
I channeled my feelings into physical activity.
Im wasnt a runner.
I hated to get sweaty.
I was an Olympic medalist avoider of physical activity.Physical exertion?
Oh, yeah, count me out.
No thank you.That was me.
But then I just feltso sadthat I had todosomething.
I couldnt sit for one more second, crying and feeling sorry for myself because my heart felt broken.
Start slow,they whispered.
So, thats what I did.
I leaned into it and rewarded myself with real running shoes once I knew that Ihadto do this.
I found myself talking to God during those quiet mornings on the pavement.
I found myself saying nicer things to myself every hot AF afternoon after work to get through each mile.
I saw the writing on the wall before you called it over.
Therapy taught me skills for how to cope with my emotions, and not be completely overwhelmed by them.
I learned how to identify triggers for that anxiety and what to do with myself when I was triggered.
Was I really not worth loving, or was I just sad?
Was I really a pathetic loser, or was I just wallowing in self-pity?
I learned about self-talk and how to find ways to feed my soul.
I eventually found myself in a phase of unapologetic love for myself.
I was confident for what felt like the first time ever.
I was a whole person, and I decided I was going to look for another whole person.
Those fuckboys who talk a good game but lack follow through?
Youre not willing to talk about intentions at the outset?
Youre not the one for me, sorry not sorry.
It was a journey, getting over you.
Life experience is the best teacher there is, and youre the one that led me to finding myself.
The person I became after you helped me find my husband.
Hes not perfect either, but hes perfect for me.
We have a shared belief system and core values.
We laugh at the same stupid stuff.
We balance each other out.
Weve created a life I love and a perfect little boy.
