I want nothing to do with you, but I want you to want everything to do with me.
I know deep down, in my soul, that it will never happen.
I am trying to keep myself occupied enough to not give in and text you first.
Pixabay
I just saw you, I just saw you talking to a girl that wasnt me.
I just wanted your attention and continue to want it.
I want you to want me again.
I dont think you are special.
I agree with my friends, I am so much better than you.
For some reason though, I cant stop.
I have always used sex to get what I want.
It is not something I am proud of or feel comfortable admitting, but it is the truth.
I have never been the best with relationships and nothing gets too serious most of the time.
I know you havent lost that desire but somehow your self-control is out of this world.
In the end, though, I am still getting hurt.
I want you more now than I ever have.
It is not in the way it was before though.
It is not because I think I might love you.
It is not because I want you to finally realize I am the person for you.
It is not because I picture a future together.
It is not because I want to fix you or be the one that changes you.
It is because you straight up reject me.
It is because you do not want me.
I find ways to be in your life that are constantly unsuccessful.
I find ways to text you about dumb shit that constantly provide no response.
I update my social media more than I need to just to see if you are paying attention.
Just to make you pay attention.
It is like an insane addiction.
It is like an incurable disease.
I cant get over you and that impacts this insaneness even more.
Why dont you want me?
Why dont you want me in your bed this very second?
What keeps you away?
hey, teach me your ways because I cant handle being so weak.
I cant keep inviting myself to outings just in the hopes that you will be there.
