We are girls with anxiety whose favorite word is I’m sorry.
By
Updated 7 years ago,July 14, 2018
We are girls with anxiety.
The throw in that has calendars booked and appointments set months in advance.
Jesse Herzog
Wed rather do that than ever disappoint anyone or disappoint ourselves.
The pop in that never says no to people.
We replay the past like its some catchy true that gets stuck in our head and we cant stop.
Maybe we manifest our fears to become reality.
Because we worry so much.
The pop in that questions how someone feels.
The bang out that needs reassurance even though that comes across as needy.
The punch in that spends way too much time thinking why something ended and was it our fault.
The bang out that tries a little too hard sometimes.
Cares a little too much.
We strive for perfection beating ourselves up every time we fall short.
The one who always excelled in things and everyone said we made it look easy.
Little did they know how hard we were on ourselves.
But theres this taunting voice that tells us we are bound to fail and lose everything we have.
Then that fear triggers procrastination and we add more stress to our lives doing things last minute.
Wanting only to be liked and accepted even though we struggle greatly to find that within ourselves.
We wonder if everyone is staring at us or is it just in our head.
We wonder if anyone even wants us here.
Triggered by the fear of people leaving.
Because when they do we always fall apart.
Whether its friends or relationships we wonder why didnt they stay?
Why didnt they care enough to?
What could have done?
And what can I still do to fix this?
Fixing things that arent even real problems anywhere else but in our head.
The bang out who enjoys drinking once in awhile but worries well overdo it saying slurred words we regret.
Its the moral hung over thats worse than the actual one.
In the moment we swear were fine because being drunk is the closest we come to living without anxiety.
But eventually that fades away and its back to the reality.
The ones who need thingsover-explained.The ones who sometimes need proof of what youre saying.
Not because we dont trust you but anxiety makes us believe we cant.
Ones who struggling with communicating things but try so hard to say everything so clearly.
Most conversations will start with an apology.
Something we thought long about.
Needing someone who knows how to bring us down in moments we start spiraling.
Someone who knows exactly what to say and do to calm us down.
The ones who anticipate endings just so we are not surprised.
We are our own worst enemies and harshest critics.
Overcome with irrational fears that almost bring us to our knees if we think about it too much.
We think about the future.
We dwell in the past and struggle to live in the moment.
And we hate ourselves for living like that.
The bang out who wants to control everything because this part of our lives feels so outside our control.
Honestly we dont trust too many people to do something right so we take it upon ourselves.
then things dont go according to our plan or someone isnt on time our heart races a little quickly.
And even though we nothing ever goes as planned we still try.
And the root of these feelings is just simply caring.
We try entirely too hard and feel everything entirely too deeply.
We watch a little too close to the things people say and how they act.
We pick up on the smallest of signs that something might change.
We hate change but we do our best to roll with the punches.
Whose favorite word is Im sorry.
