And you could say it’s my fault.
My fault for being naive.
My fault for being dumb.
Sam Burriss
My fault for being a silly little girl, a hopeless romantic, a dreamer.
We were never official, never serious, never a commitment and never a sure plan.
And I know youre not supposed to have feelings for someone who doesnt want you.
And I know youre not supposed to fall for the guy who wont ever fall for you.
He meets girls all the time.
His smile makes any girl in the room look up from their phones.
Sam Burriss
His charm would make any girl fall.
Even if that girl is smart.
Even if that girl isnt naive.
Even if that girl has a good head on her shoulders.
Even if that girl promised herself she wouldnt.
And I was that girl.
I told my sister I wasnt looking for anything serious, just like he wanted.
I told my best friends that this time, I would be able to do the casual thing.
That this time, I would be strong enough to not fall.
To not think about his smile late at night.
That I would be strong enough to not panic when he didnt answer my string of texts.
To not feel anything.
Because thats what youre supposed to do.
Thats how its supposed to be.
Except thats not how it happened.
Thats not how it panned out.
I cared for him and I wanted him to care for me.
And I wanted to know every inch of him.
I wanted to know his fears and his worries and his dreams.
And I wanted him to know mine.
I wanted so badly for him to make that effort I longed for.
I wanted so badly for him to just care.
And you could say its my fault.
My fault for being naive.
My fault for being dumb.
My fault for being a silly little girl, a hopeless romantic, a dreamer.
You could say its my fault for thinking I could change his mind.
But thats the thing.
you’re able to never change them.
you might never make someone want you, who has no intention of holding your heart.
you could never turn a casual person into someone who cares.
I tried not to think about his beautiful smile when I was home alone with a bottle of wine.
I tried not to think of the way I made him smile when I cracked a joke.
I tried so hard to not fall for him.
I tried so hard to be the person that he wanted me to be.
the no strings attached girl.
The one who didnt care.
But all I ever did was care.
My mistake for putting my heart into something that died the second it started.
