You will not always understand.
You will feel frustrated when I retreat into myself.
By
Updated 5 years ago,May 26, 2020
Loving somebody with a chronic illness is hard.
Sergey Zolkin
Im not going to tell you its easy.
Im not going to tell you that nothing is difficult if you love the person.
Im not going to tell you anything like this, because its simply not true.
Sergey Zolkin
Take it from someone who has a chronic illness.
I live with myself every day.
I have for 22 years.
Its hard, and Ive had years to adjust to it.
It breaks me down sometimes.
I wish I could have a new body when mine misbehaves.
So its unfair for me to say that loving me will come naturally.
Hell, Im still learning how to deal with myself on a daily basis.
You will feel angry that the world is treating the one you love poorly.
You will feel helpless and hopeless when you cant do anything but watch me struggle.
I will have doctors appointment after doctors appointment.
Sometimes Ill sleep an entire day away.
Sometimes I wont want to talk to you or anyone at all.
Sometimes Ill forget to eat.
Sometimes Ill want to spend every second with you, even if we arent talking.
Sometimes Ill push you away.
Sometimes Ill be hot, sometimes Ill be cold.
Loving somebody with a chronic illness isnt a walk in the park.
Sometimes its a walk through a dark tunnel with no light in sight.
But I can promise you something else that pushing forward through the hard times will be worth it.
I will love you more than words can say.
I will love you unconditionally, because I know your love for me is unconditional, too.
I will stay through the dark parts of your life the way you stay through mine.
I will hold your hand when the going gets tough.
I will be loyal.
I will trust you with everything in me.
I will make you laugh and smile.
And when I am healthy?
It will be magical.
It will be rewarding.
You will feel relief.
You will feel light.
You will feel my love radiating through my body and warming yours.
You will feel ecstatic to experience such joy with me.
So, no, loving me will not be easy.
But for every dark tunnel, there is a light at the end.
Walk with me through it hand-in-hand.
I promise it will be worth it.
