They dont mention that you must remember who you are.
The you before someone stole from you and tried to tell you who or what you were.
They tell you to stand firm, build a support system and find a safe place.
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Mend your internal wounds.
They dont tell you how much it will hurt.It hurts.
If youre a compassionate and hopeful person you will feel weak and you will need to find strength.
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You will need to keep living the nightmare through your memories as you push through your weakness.
You will crave the negativity like an addict needing that last jolt of high.
You will crave it because its a vicious cycle within a routine.
Its what youve gotten used to and youve forgotten how to be happy.
Youve forgotten how to be in peace.
Its going to hurt.
You are going to miss them, at first and for while.
You will miss them because youve seen potential.
You will miss them because abusers have the most intense flip sides.
When theyre on-theyre on.
When theyre off-theyre way off and youve always loved intensities.
You will have to be strong for a long time.
You will need to be strong as you break old habits.
You will need to fight for yourself and for new relationships.
They dont tell you how to re-train your brain.
A happy and healthy normal.
They dont tell you how scary that is.
How wrong it can feel.
They dont tell you how fucked its made you, making a home out of brokenness.
They dont tell you that when you find something beautiful and healthy that you will feel like running.
You will be in a tug of war.
You will want it but you will be frightened.
Every bad thing, big and small, has been your fault.
They dont tell you to stop literally taking things personally.
People will tell you to stop apologizing.
You will realize that you apologize to everyone for all sorts of silly things.
They dont mention that.
Its a reminder of the abuse and it will sting in its realization from time to time.
Just so you know.
Making eye contact will be a challenge.
It will feel too intimate.
It will feel like youre baring all.
They dont tell you to blare the music until you cant feel a damn thing.
On the bad days, you should try it.
They dont mention that you must remember who you are.
There are so many things you wont be told.
There are so many dependant factors.
They dont tell you because being abused and vulnerable arent combinations you find hand in hand.
They dont tell you because Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
