Never trust a man with a ponytail.
The list goes on!
In the spirit of generosity, I share those lessons with you now.
Pride & Prejudice / Focus Features
Never trust a man with a ponytail
Mr. Wickham is this movies closest thing to a villain.
He lies, cheats, manipulates, monetizes relationships, and isolates Lydia from her family.
Its only thanks to Mr. Darcys wealth and connections that Lydia never realizes the true nature of her husband.
At least, not within the course of this movie.
And this is all because of Mr. Wickhams ponytail.
At least, thats my takeaway from this movie!
You cant be a poetanda downer
Writers.
We shy away from exuberant displays and turn inward, content to observe the lives around us.
This is already off-putting enough.
We cannot also be Negative Nancys!
Mary: I think a ball is a perfectly irrational way to gain new acquaintance.
It would be better if conversation, instead of dancing, were the order of the day.
Miss Bingley: Indeed, much more rational, but rather less like a ball.
Elizabeth: Thank you, Mary.
Miss Bingley: You dont have a lot of friends, do you?
Elizabeth: We are never letting you out of the basement again.
No man is worth catching a viral infection over
Mrs. Bennett is the O.G.
Then Mr. Bingley ghosts Jane immediately after!
This is already suspicious.
No real friend would make you do exercise for fun.
The moral here is: End contact with anyone who asks you to do physical exercise.
Then she judges her friend, Charlotte, for marrying the same man.
Charlotte deserves love, too; and plus, people get married for different reasons.
Just because Mr. Collins cant make Elizabeth happy doesnt mean he isnt right for someone else.
However, this lesson only applies to people in movies.
However, she technically does very little to elicit Mr. Darcys two proposals.
The first time, she simply runs outside to cry in the rain.
The second time, she walks aimlessly through a field at dawn to literally touch grass.
In conclusion…
Which is to say, not at all.
Now go touch grass!
