Stop surrounding yourself with people who make you feel insecure.
By
Updated 6 years ago,November 16, 2018
A couple of things before I start:
1.
Everyone, anywhere, feels the pain of romantic loneliness at some point during their life.
Joanna Nix
Its almost always cishet women who are being badgered in society about whether they are the one or not.
I dont know why.
Heres what being the one is supposed to be about: being secure and happy in a relationship.
Feeling like you are with someone who respects you, cherishes you, and looks after you.
Having safety and security to be who you truly are emotionally, physically, mentally.
Its facing lifes hardships without flinching.
Its throwing your instincts and self-respect to the wind for the sake of having the partner box ticked.
Stop indulging people who act entitled to your patience, your body, your emotional labor, without reciprocation.
Be the jerk who asserts themselves, who doesnt take shit.
Be the one who says whats on their mind.
Be the voice of reason.
Will that make you less popular?
Guess what though: the ones who are left behind will be the ones you want to keep.
Im not just talking about lovers here.
If that sounds scary, its because it means confronting your own people-pleasing tendencies.
Because this is what it means, to never be the one: its always doubting yourself.
Its lack of trust, and blaming yourself for bad decisions.
Its self-monitoring and self-censure.
Its looking at your partner with suspicion, wondering when the next shoe will drop.
Its no way to live.
Its hardly a way to survive.
