They hate him for you because your heart can’t seem to.
By
Updated 8 years ago,May 23, 2017
I cant sit here and watch you completely self-destruct.
I dont think we realize the affect anyone has on us, in the moment.
God & Man
Especially when we think its love.
But healthy relationships are only that.
So when you find yourself in a toxic relationship you find yourself running in these circles of mistreatment.
God & Man
And whether you see it or not everyone notices how you change being in a toxic relationship.
Itd be impossible not to.
You expect the worst.
And you then question yourself wondering is it you that brings out the worst in people?
You suddenly question everyone.
You think everyone has a motive and is using you to gain something.
You enter relationships not trusting anyone.
How can you trust anyone when you dont even trust yourself to choose the right person?
You dont feel like youre good enough ever.
You think if you didnt trigger something he wouldnt have lost his shit on you.
You think its you thats the problem.
You keep overcompensating.
Its like you are trying to prove you are worthy of love and affection.
Toxic relationships teach you, you oughta work to earn love when normal relationships give it to you freely.
But toxic relationships give a little then take it away because it all comes down to power.
You become paranoid as fuck.
You jump when your phone goes off wondering if its them.
You know to answer right away or youll get yelled at.
But then you watch as those rules dont apply to them.
They answer just to double-check you do but then the conversation ends.
They say things to set you off and they know exactly how to.
Suddenly youre comprising your own self-respect.
Because you think this is love so you do anything they ask of you.
But love isnt crying yourself to sleep at night wondering why your best isnt enough to make them stay.
You watch them come and go like youre so easy to leave and you think its your fault.
You attract the same key in over and over again.
You find yourself dating again or trying to but youre looking for everyone that reminds you of that person.
Regardless of how destructive those qualities might be, oddly they defined this standard of love you had.
You lose yourself.
Your friends are your rock.
They endured it with you.
They were the one drying your tears every time you got hurt.
They were the one watching painfully as you went back to him.
They hate him for you because your heart cant seem to.
You have to reteach yourself self-love.
In time, you do begin to learn from it.
You learn it wasnt you that wasnt good enough or smart enough or pretty enough.
It was them who didnt realize what they had when they had it.
You learn to talk to yourself differently.
Even though sometimes you catch yourself being negative.
You learn to stop beating yourself up for flaws you used to hate.
